How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
What attracts knights in shining armor even more than damsels in distress?
Magnets
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
What do Alfred the Great and Ivan the Terrible have in common?
Their middle name.
What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
A French Roast.
Where would you find Hadrian's Wall?
At the bottom of his garden!
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
When the student had asked the History teacher what questions will be there for the History exam, she answered, "The Past."
Catherine and Peter performed great in 'Dancing with the Tsar'last night. But Ivan was terrible.
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
When the proposal of building a parking lot was given to Richard III, he told said, "Over my dead body."
Why did the mammoth have a woolly coat?
Because he would have looked ridiculous in an anorak.
People hated Ho Chi Minh because he was Hanoi-ing.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
What did the teacher do with her student's report on the history of cheese?
She grated it.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
The comedian said a joke from the 17th century, the crowd went historical.
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
His daddy was his mummy!
Who was the most flatulent Pharaoh in all of old Egypt?
King Tootsarecommon.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!