My teacher told me in History class to do some light reading on the history of the light bulb.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
I wouldn't say I liked the documentary that I had watched on the history of WD-40. It was non-friction.
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
The Second World War was very slow because they were Stalin.
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
What do you call someone who used to build airplanes in medieval times? Aerosmith!
One fundamental lesson our teacher has taught us in History class while talking about the Civil War was never to take victory for Grant-ed.
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures
Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
Did Roman architecture emphasize forum over function?
Everyone remembers the iconic line from the lesser known Tragedy of Julius Sneezer:
"Achoo, Brute?"
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
When I asked my Teacher in History class if she could tell us more about Napoleon's origin, she replied,"'Course I can!"
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
Romeo & Juliet.doc...
...is a play on Word.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.