It is no wonder that Thomas Jefferson was thus named, his father was after Jefferdad.
People argue that the Romans were wrong to crucify Jesus
Personally, I think they nailed it.
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?
They start by dragon it.
What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?
Can't- elope!
If George Frederic Handel would be born in the modern era, his favorite song would be "Club Can't Even Handel Me."
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
Nobody knows about Napoleon's brother because they were born-apart-e.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
How good/bad was the Internet at the time of the Roman Emperors?
Let me put it that way: the lag was so bad it took Jesus three days just to respawn and he got disconnected soon afterwards.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
The paper my student wrote on Tsar Ivan was so bad, it was tearable.
What does a gladiator say when leaving after an intimate embrace with a woman?
Gladiator out
When the student had asked the History teacher what questions will be there for the History exam, she answered, "The Past."
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Julius Caesar
Was a well dressed romaine.
I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
The crosseyed history teacher
Could not control her pupils.
Caesar accused Brutus of cannibalism. "Ate dudes, Brutus?"
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
One of the historical figures to play music with has got to be the talented Mr. Ben-jam-in Franklin.
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
What do you call a happy aviator?
A gladiator
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
Gordon Ramsey shouted at Queen Mary because she was burning everything.
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
After having learned the history of chess, I have come to the conclusion that all chess players have quite a checkered past.
I wouldn't say I liked the documentary that I had watched on the history of WD-40. It was non-friction.
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
When my teacher asked me if I knew who built the ark in History class, I answered, "I have Noah idea!"
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
There were two knights who were fighting a long duel with each other. The fight ended when one of them chopped off the other's leg- guess the knight was defeeted.
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel