The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
What do you call the gladiator who only tackles other gladiators?
Wrestle Crow.
What was the most popular dance move in the colonies in 1776?
Indepen-dance.
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
My English teacher told us to write about the history of our life. However, I hate writing, so I used AI to write it for me.
I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
I wonder why Lenin didn't realize that communism would fail to work. There were so many red flags everywhere.
If George Frederic Handel would be born in the modern era, his favorite song would be "Club Can't Even Handel Me."
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
Julius Caesar
But Julius is too shy to talk to her
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
One of the funny puns uttered by Mark Twain is that denial is not just a river in Egypt.
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
When my teacher asked me if I knew who built the ark in History class, I answered, "I have Noah idea!"
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
What do the early European settlers in America have in common with ants?
They both lived in colonies!
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
This soldier, Titius, liked to kick a soccer ball around at night and was suspected of breaking some important statues. When his friends asked why he hadn't showed up for his platoon's morning workout, Terentius Vespa quipped,
"Oh, it's okay - he said he broke an arm."
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
What do you call a Medieval knight who's always sure of himself?
Sir Tainly.
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
England is the wettest country because many monarchs reigned there for many years.
If you need an Ark, I Noah guy.
A Roman Lifeguard on duty:
See Caesar, Beware the tides of March!
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.