Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures
Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on
Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
Franz Joseph constantly sour about everything because he was always Haydn.
History. History. Did I just rewrite history?
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
When the teacher got frustrated because the students weren't paying attention to the class about Isaac Newton, he exclaimed, "Don't you understand the gravity of this situation?"
Where would you find Hadrian's Wall?
At the bottom of his garden!
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
The First World War ended very quickly because they were Russian.
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
If Romeo and Juliet were tuna...
they would be Starkist lovers.
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
What do you call the gladiator who only tackles other gladiators?
Wrestle Crow.
Why was Romeo melancholic?
Because Juliette Cantaloupe.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
I General Lee do not find punny history jokes about the Civil War funny.
Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
Herculease.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff