When Lincoln had asked Republican Senator John if he would aid him in capturing Atlanta, he replied, "Sher-man!"
Who succeeded the first President of the United States?
The second one.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
The comedian said a joke from the 17th century, the crowd went historical.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
What did the gladiator say when he was surrounded by nearly 100 men?
IC
Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...
... requires a lot of Gaul.
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
My teacher told me in History class to do some light reading on the history of the light bulb.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
Hitler jokes are rude, Anne Frankly I don't care.
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
What do you call the gladiator who only tackles other gladiators?
Wrestle Crow.
What was the most popular dance move in the colonies in 1776?
Indepen-dance.
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
My English teacher told us to write about the history of our life. However, I hate writing, so I used AI to write it for me.
I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
I wonder why Lenin didn't realize that communism would fail to work. There were so many red flags everywhere.
If George Frederic Handel would be born in the modern era, his favorite song would be "Club Can't Even Handel Me."
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
Julius Caesar
But Julius is too shy to talk to her
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
One of the funny puns uttered by Mark Twain is that denial is not just a river in Egypt.
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
When my teacher asked me if I knew who built the ark in History class, I answered, "I have Noah idea!"
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.