Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
"Toga-ther, we can rule the world!"
The comedian said a joke from the 17th century, the crowd went historical.
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
Catherine and Peter performed great in 'Dancing with the Tsar'last night. But Ivan was terrible.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
Why did the Pilgrims sail to America?
It was too far to swim.
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
A student holds a gun to his English teacher. "Give me all your money or you're geography!"
"You mean history."
"Don't change the subject!"
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Why did it take the Roman General 10 tries to find the buried treasure?
Because X marks the spot
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
Gladiator.
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th.
What was the most popular kids' movie in Ancient Greece?
Troy Story.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
When one is Russian for industrialization, there is no time for Stalin.
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?
Pyramid schemes
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?
Because it can't sit down!
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
My English teacher told us to write about the history of our life. However, I hate writing, so I used AI to write it for me.
I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.
When I wrote the history of cheese for our term paper in school, our History teacher said it was grate.
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
What's a snake's favorite subject to study in school? Hisssstory.