A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
During the cold war all the countries involved went into hibernation.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
The yearbook superlative that Robert Lee had given in his graduation was "Most likely to secede."
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
Gladiator.
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
The loveliest subject in schools History because it has so many dates.
The Second World War was very slow because they were Stalin.
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
Why did Julius Caesar go to the dermatologist?
Because he had so many lesions.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...
... requires a lot of Gaul.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
If you need an Ark, I Noah guy.
A teacher asks one of their pupils, "Can you describe Napoleon"s origin?"
The pupil replies, "Course I can." (Corsican)
When indoor toilets were introduced in Britain, it was considered to be a revo-loo-tionary move.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures
Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
Julius Caesar: "Brutus, that's a very nice dagger, is it new?"
Brutus: "Thanks, and yes, they had a sale at Traitor Joe's."
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
Julius Caesar
Was a well dressed romaine.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?
Can't- elope!
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
Napoleon may not have designed the coat he wore, but he did have a hand in it.
What's an Ancient Egyptian favorite restaurant?
Pizza Tut!
When I asked my Teacher in History class if she could tell us more about Napoleon's origin, she replied,"'Course I can!"
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
To get to the other tide.
We were debating about Charles Darwin in class when the teacher warned us, "Don't let this evolve into an argument."
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
Why did the mammoth have a woolly coat?
Because he would have looked ridiculous in an anorak.