If you’re doing dangerous work on a platform that’s held together by screwed in bolts, then your life is hanging by a thread.
Why is a robot engineer never lonely? Because he’s always making new friends.
Engineers like to Solve Problems but...
If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own.
How Many Engineers Does It Take to Assemble a Futon?
Three…and a psychologist!
Why was the thermometer smarter than the graduated cylinder?
He had more degrees.
What did the structural engineer say to the architect? Nice buttress.
After suffering weak gain at the poles, the National Transistor Party has been trying to energize their base.
I passed my degree in sound engineering. I got 1-2-1-2!
Did you hear about the constipated engineer? He worked it out with a pencil. It was a natural log.
Never argue with Pi, it's irrational.
I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
What to give your favorite electrical engineer for his birthday?
Shorts.
The interesting the about engineering Toilet Paper.
It's an a-ply-ed science.
Some local engineers took a train for a service, but the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.
Looking for a boyfriend in engineering: the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
Why was the software engineer bankrupt? He’d used all his cache.
Why did the engineering students leave class early? They were getting a little ANSI.
I just finished my masters in engineering with a concentration in adhesives...
Within the next year I want to publish my first book on tape.
What did the electrical engineer say when he got shocked? That hertz.
Where in the World Can You Find the Highest Concentration of Engineers?
Antarctica! Because that's where all the P. Enguins are!
Two antennas got married – the wedding was lousy, but the reception was outstanding.
I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.
Professor: "What's a hydraulic ram used for?" "It's where you get steel wool!"
What's the Difference Between Mechanical & Civil Engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets.
What's the Difference Between a Chemist and a Chemical Engineer?
Oh, about $10 K a year.
Power naps are great. You can really build up charge with them.
After suffering weak gain at the poles, the National Transistor Party has been trying to energize their base.
Old Software Engineers Never Die...
They just reboot.