1. Joy – I appreciate the good in my life
Let’s start with the emotion everyone wants to experience – joy – which is accompanied by feelings of hope, pleasure, satisfaction, and excitement. Joy makes us smile and laugh, and it infuses us with energy. Your body and mind are essentially saying through it, "I achieved what I wanted" or "This is good for me," and it helps us appreciate the good things happening in our lives. Give yourselves permission to enjoy as much as possible – you deserve to be happy and joyful!
2. Sadness – I need support and comfort
On the other side of the spectrum is sadness, which can take many forms, such as despair, grief, or disappointment. It causes us to experience low energy levels and, of course, sometimes leads to crying. It can arise in response to physical or emotional pain, or if we feel we’ve lost something important to us, which is linked to longing and loneliness. Its purpose is to tell us and others that we need support and comfort. If sadness strikes you, allow yourselves to cry if needed, reach out to loved ones for support, and it’s also recommended to learn how to comfort yourselves. Sometimes it helps to simply remind yourselves that sadness is temporary, and it will eventually pass.
3. Envy – I want what I don’t have
Envy is often accompanied by feelings of longing, bitterness, resentment, and revenge, and it makes us feel small and can even lead to hatred. Envy has only one message to convey – we want something that someone else has – and although it’s perceived as a negative emotion, it sparks motivation in us to address an issue we might be ignoring or unaware of. We should ask ourselves what we truly lack or which emotion we’re not fulfilling, while simultaneously appreciating what we have and checking if we can meet our needs in positive, enriching, and empowering ways.
4. Love – I feel connected and safe
This is another emotion we all want to experience because it fills us with feelings of warmth, closeness, compassion, and affection, and helps us feel connected to others, and equally important – safe in their presence. The purpose of love is to help us maintain relationships, but when we experience it intensely, we should ask ourselves if we’re receiving it back from the other side and if we’re being respected by them. Let your love show itself and let others know you care about them and that they’re important to you.
5. Anger – My boundaries have been crossed
Anger can arise in various situations – because we’re frustrated, because someone or something annoyed us, and so on. It causes our muscles to tense, our heart to beat faster, and us to burst out in shouts. "I don’t deserve this!" or "I’ve been hurt" – these are the main messages anger is trying to convey, and its purpose is to motivate us to create healthy boundaries or solve problems we’ve encountered. Learn how to control anger so it doesn’t control you, allow yourselves to calm down, and check if you played a role in the situation that led you to where you are.
6. Shame – I need to examine myself
When someone humiliates us, when we’re overly aware of our flaws, or if we’re naturally shy, we experience shame. Our face reddens, our stomach tightens, and we feel the only thing we want to do is find somewhere to hide. Shame tells us something is wrong with us and tries to remind us to examine ourselves and see what we need to fix. This isn’t always justified, and sometimes we need to ask ourselves what we’re ashamed of and whether we can learn to accept ourselves. Remind yourselves that you’re only human, and none of us is perfect – we all experience situations that lead to shame.
7. Guilt – I did something against my values
If there’s something you regret, or if you feel responsible for something bad that happened to yourself or someone else, you’ll experience guilt. Your chest will tighten, and it will be hard to maintain eye contact with the person you hurt because you know you did something against your values. Guilt is meant to lead us to personal growth toward a better place where we’ve learned from our mistakes and changed our behavior patterns. Learn how to apologize when it’s needed, and let it guide you to a better place for yourselves.
8. Loneliness – I need connection
Some people enjoy being alone and don’t experience loneliness like others, but if we feel rejection, abandonment, or are distant from others and can’t get closer to them, then it arrives. It hurts in the heart, leads to a sense of emptiness, and may make us think we’re small and invisible, and its entire purpose is to tell us we need love and encourage us to seek it. It doesn’t have to be romantic love, and this feeling can be eased by the company of anyone who loves us. Remember that loneliness is temporary as long as you have someone to share something with, whether it’s future plans or your thoughts.
9. Fear – I feel vulnerable and need security
When we’re stressed, anxious, worried, or overwhelmed, fear can creep in and join these feelings, causing us to want to escape everything or, conversely, attack what’s causing it. It tells us we’re vulnerable and need to protect ourselves, and in this state, you should calm down and think about how you can regain the sense of security you had until now. Sometimes you really need to escape, and sometimes you need to face the problem and solve it, or at least prepare a plan to deal with it when necessary.
10. Disgust – Something threatens my well-being
Every time we encounter something that makes us say, "I don’t like this" or "This repulses me," we’re actually experiencing the emotion of disgust. In mild cases, it causes us to avoid what we prefer to stay away from, even just by averting our gaze, and in less controlled cases, it leads to nausea. Disgust comes to tell us that what we’ve encountered is not good for us or violates our boundaries and harms us (it may accompany anger), and it actually helps us stay healthy in every sense. If you feel disgust, ask yourselves, "What hurt me?" or "How does this threaten my security?" and you’ll know whether you really need to keep your distance from that source, whether it’s a person or an object.
