Touched

Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
Someone I know gave a really deep speech to convince me to go for a colonoscopy
What else can I say?
Something touched me deep inside.
Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pu**y say "stop." Girl: But mom, he touched both, so I said "don't stop."
I used to get a nasty electric shock every time I touched something metallic. But thankfully I’m cured.
I’m ex-static!