Touched Jokes

Someone I know gave a really deep speech to convince me to go for a colonoscopy
What else can I say?
Something touched me deep inside.
Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?
I used to get a nasty electric shock every time I touched something metallic. But thankfully I’m cured.
I’m ex-static!
Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pu**y say "stop." Girl: But mom, he touched both, so I said "don't stop."
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
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