What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
What did one plate say to the other? Dinners on me
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
What did one plate say to his friend? Tonight, dinner’s on me!
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
What do you call it when a sloth eats a second plate of food?
Slothy seconds
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
I own a big fat cat-
The fattest for miles around.
Wherever there's lots of food,
That's where he'll be found.

He's really good at eating.
It's a talent, I suppose.
I'm sure if he keeps at it
He'd win the talent shows.

I own a big fat cat-
He weighs at least a ton.
He couldn't run to save his life.
Yes, he isn't much fun.

His favourite room's the kitchen.
(I'm sure we all know why.)
He eats just about everything,
So that's why, with a sigh...

I'd like to tell you, Teacher,
I'd like to tell you straight,
I might have "accidentally" dropped
My homework in his plate.

(By Christian M. Mitewu)