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Plain Jokes

Halloween Puns
For Halloween I’m going to write “Life” on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers
Funny Poems
I've fallen in love- I don't know why
I've fallen in love with a girl with one eye.

I knew from the start. It was plain to see
That this wonderful girl had an eye out for me

She's charming and witty and jolly and jocular
Not what you'd expect from a girl who's monocular.

Of eyes - at the moment - she hasn't full quota
But that doesn't change things for me one iota.

It must be quite difficult if you're bereft.
If your left eye is gone and your right eye is left.

But she's made up her mind. She's made her decision.
She can see it quite clearly in 10/20 vision.

She'll not leave me waiting, not left in the lurch
If she looks slightly sideways she'll see me in church.

I'll marry my true love who's gentle and kind.
And thus prove to everyone that loves not quite blind.

(By Andrew Jefferson)
Rejection Pick Up Lines
Man: Do you think it was fate which brought us together?
Woman: Nah, it was plain bad luck!
Moon Puns
Libya changed its plain green flag to a crescent moon, but I think they'll change it back.
It's only a phase, after all.
Lemon Puns
Why is it better to smell roses and lemons than a pile of poop?
It’s just plain common scents.
Funny Animal Poems That Rhyme
Tiny Chihuahua,
Humongous Great Dane.
The difference between them
Is really quite plain.
Feisty Chihuahua
Will yap-yap and yip.
If he doesn't like you,
You may get a nip!
Gentle Great Dane
Has a powerful bite,
But never would nip you.
She's much too polite.
Great Dane finds the carpet
A fine place to nap.
Chihuahua loves curling
Right up in your lap.
Their owners would have
Some cause for dismay
If each dog behaved
In the opposite way!

(Kristin Frederick)
Halloween Pick Up Lines
Why’d you dress up as a princess, when you could have simply come in plain clothes as the most beautiful girl at the Halloween party?
Corn Puns
Plain popcorn? You can do butter than that.
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