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Or

I’d like to buy a catamaran or a yacht.
I’d like to get the best of boat words.
Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
My neighbours listen to terrific music... Whether they like it or not.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse if it's an alcoholic considering all the bars he frequents, to which the horse replies "I think not!"
POOF! The horse disappears.

This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am.

But to explain the concept beforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?
A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. The wife says, "Is it a boy or a girl?" The logician says, "Yes."
Why did Shakespeare only write in ink?
Pencils posed an issue; 2B or not 2B?
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
A railroad engineer must be sure not to lose his train of thought or he might go down the wrong track.
“As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.”
Buddy Hackett
“If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.”
Billy Wilder
“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.”
Mark Twain
“Life begins at 40 – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.”
Helen Rowland
“When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.”
Erma Bombeck
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.