Octopus

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Tentacles.
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a turkey?

Finally enough drumsticks for everybody at Thanksgiving. Provided you can catch the darned critter.
Why didn’t the lobster and crab share their lunch with an octopus?
Because they are too shellfish.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
What do you get when you cross a dog and an octopus?

A reprimand from the Scientific Morals and Ethics Committee and an immediate cessation of your grant funding.
The Octopus Musician
The Octopus Musician A man walked into a bar with his pet octopus. He went up to the counter and bet everyone in the bar $50 that they couldn’t bring the octopus a musical instrument that it couldn’t play. One man pulled an old guitar off the wall that hadn’t been tuned in years and gave it to the octopus. The octopus took the guitar, tuned it right up and began playing. There was no doubt that the octopus was an excellent guitar player. The man paid his handler $50 and sat down. Another man brought a saxophone to the octopus. The octopus took it and stared for a bit. After a minute or two, the octopus began playing a deep and soulful jazz solo. This man paid his $50 and sat down. The bartender went into the back and brought out a set of bagpipes. The bartender said, “I’ll bet $100 that the octopus can’t play these bagpipes.” The man agreed and handed them to the octopus. The octopus sat there eyeing the bagpipes up and down for quite a while. The handler began to get nervous so he said to the octopus, “Hurry up and start playing the thing!” The octopus replied, “Play it? After I figure out how to get the pajamas off her I’m gonna screw it!”
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
10-tickles.