Microwave

If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
Are you sure that you’re not a microwave oven? Because, you sure make my heart melt!
What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes? She sticks it in the microwave!
How do you make a duck sing soul music?
Put him in the microwave until his Bill Withers
Went to buy a new microwave. Salesperson asks me "what volume are you looking for?"
And I say "nothign too loud"
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
She wanted a microwave for her birthday...
So I pointed and fired my shrink ray at her hand.
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
How long do you microwave fish?
Tuna half minutes!
What's the opposite of a microwave?
A Tsunami.
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
What is the difference between anal se* and a microwave? A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
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