Went to buy a new microwave. Salesperson asks me "what volume are you looking for?"
And I say "nothign too loud"
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
She wanted a microwave for her birthday...
So I pointed and fired my shrink ray at her hand.
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
How long do you microwave fish?
Tuna half minutes!
What's the opposite of a microwave?
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words