Jokes > Tags > He

He

I don’t like mangoes. I asked my boyfriend if he thinks they’ll grow on me one day.
He said “I think they can. You just need to be watered properly.”
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
A guy named Bart walks into a bar, he immediately gets shot and dies. Who killed him?
The Bartender.
A chap sees a zebra sitting on a seat beside him in the cinema eating popcorn. He says “what are you doing here?” The zebra says, “well, I enjoyed the book”.
Got a pet zebra, didn’t realise how hungry they are. He eats like a horse.
I told a friend that I thought his pet zebra was a fake. He said, “Well spotted”.
Why did the lion cross the road? Because he saw a zebra-crossing...
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
You're so ugly after the doctor cut your cord he hung himself with it.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse if it's an alcoholic considering all the bars he frequents, to which the horse replies "I think not!"
POOF! The horse disappears.

This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am.

But to explain the concept beforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
What did the man with no hands get for his christmas gift?
Gloves.

Just Joking. He still hasn't opened the gift.
My wife was trying to feed our son a pear, and he was refusing.
I said, Good news. Our son is immune to pear pressure.
What happened when Turbo lost his shell? He began to feel sluggish.
I felt so guilty after I stepped on a snail this morning. You should of seen him, he looked genuinely crushed.
What did the snail say as he slipped down the wall? How slime flies!