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Have

One Liners and Short Jokes
I used to have wavy hair... Turns out it was waving goodbye.
If I had 5 dollars for every math test I have ever failed then I would have 37 dollars.
I HATE when homeless people shake their cans of change at me.
I get it, you have more money than me, you don't have to show off.
Puns
I have written a book on Penguins.
In hindsight, paper would have been better.
Diving Puns
I used to have a scuba diving business
But it went under.
I hate when I have to stop scuba diving
If makes me deep-pressed
Toucan Puns
Have you ever heard of the Poder bird?
It is also known as the Toucan
"How much did you have to drink?"
"About a birds worth."
"What?"
"You know, toucans."
Police are investigating a string of homicides which have occurred over the last two weeks. The victims have identified as Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, and the latest victim, Lucky the Leprechaun.
They are looking for a cereal killer.
Pear Puns
My favorite fruit is the pear.
Because if you have two and you eat one, you still have a pear left.
Mango Puns
Have you ever seen the episode of VeggieTales directed by Tarantino?
It’s called Mango Unchained.
Corona Virus Jokes
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
Zebra Puns
What side does the zebra have the most stripes on?
The outside.
Why do zebras have stripes?
Because they don't want to be spotted.
Cheese Puns
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
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