When I got home from camp today, My parents almost died. They asked me how I got this way, And here's what I replied:
This little cast from heel to hip Is nothing much at all. Some broken shingles made me slip From off the dining hall.
The poison ivy's not too bad. It missed my back and chest. Of course, I guess I oughta add Mosquitoes got the rest.
I tried to eat some hick'ry nuts And cracked a tooth or two. And all these bruises, scabs, and cuts? I haven't got a clue.
I got the lump that's on my head From diving in the lake. I should've watched for rocks instead Of grabbing for the snake.
That leaves this bandage on my chin And these three finger sprains, Along with lots of sunburned skin And sniffles from the rains.
I also got a muscle cramp And very nearly drowned. It's some terrific summer camp, The coolest one around.
(By Richard Thomas)
The Famous Grandfather
A trio of old veterans were bragging and jokes about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one afternoon down at the VFW hall.
"My great grandfather, at age 13," one declared proudly, "was a drummer boy at Shiloh."
"Mine," boasts another, "went down with Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn."
"I'm the only soldier in my family," confessed vet number three, "but if my great grandfather was living today he'd be the most famous man in the world." "Really?
What'd he do?" his friends wanted to know.
But he would be 165 years old."