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Furniture Jokes

Funny Animal Quotes
“No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
- Fran Lebowitz
Funny Animal Poems That Rhyme
When my cat sleeps, he snoozes
Inside the laundry basket,
Or on top of a tree,
Crammed inside a shelf,
Where no-one can see.
In empty shopping bags,
And cartons made of cardboard,
On piles of books and newspapers,
And suitcases that are stored.
Curled up under furniture,
In places we’d never think to look.
Or nestled behind a flower pot,
In a hard to find nook.
Since my cat sleeps for at least sixteen hours each day
He must be bored of sleeping in the same old way!

(Santhini Govindan)
Table Puns
What’s the healthiest piece of furniture?
The vege-table
I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture... But when I got home, the tables were turned
My wife said we needed to have a serious talk about my obsession with furniture.
I said we could table it for now.
Weather Puns
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
Couch Puns
What’s a farmer’s favorite piece of furniture?
a COWch.
The salesman at the furniture store told me "This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems!"
To which I said, “Where on earth am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”
What do you call a furniture store that is over 30 miles away?
The Sofa-r store
Furniture Puns
Why is IKEA the cheapest place to get furniture?
Because they have some Swede deals!
What do you call an artistic piece of furniture?
A drawer
How do you move a piece of furniture at the weather station?
With four casters.
Do you think anyone will buy the new furniture made by Apple?
iWood
There's a group of guys that assemble wooden furniture for fun.
I hope they let me join.
I know a good joke about Ikea furniture, but I'm still putting it together.
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