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Delivered Jokes

Sibling Puns
My sister just delivered a baby...
I knew she had it in her.
Christian Quotes
Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch. -- Robert Orben
Heart Puns
A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house!
Home is where the heart is.
Skeleton Puns
How do skeletonโ€™s get their mail delivered?
By the bony express.
Vaccine Puns
I hear there's a new COVID-19 vaccine delivered via an audio interface as music.
It is hoped that this will lead to heard immunity.
Ancient Rome Puns
Did you know the first weather report was delivered to Julius Caesar?
Hail Caesar
You're my romeboy.
Food Poems
When I go out to dinner,
I do not want to share.
I donโ€™t care what is on your plate;
I donโ€™t want to compare.

I scan the menu up and down
And then make my selection.
When it arrives, itโ€™s meant for me
And not for your inspection.

โ€œYou want to taste my fish?โ€ Iโ€™m asked.
Some people never learn;
For then the expectation is
To taste mine in return.

And so the answerโ€™s always No!
Yet comments never cease.
โ€œYour fries look really good!โ€ They are,
So let me eat in peace!

Each morsel on my dish is mine
And I intend to finish.
Perhaps my attitude will make
Your thoughts of me diminish.

Iโ€™m sorry if that is the case โ€“
Dessert Iโ€™ll split just fine;
But when the mealโ€™s delivered โ€“
You eat yours and Iโ€™ll eat mine!

(Ilene Bauer)
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