Blowing Jokes

Have you heard about the street performer who does his act in the middle of a storm?
It's mime blowing.
What did the Teddy Bear say after blowing out his birthday candles? No cake for me…I’m stuffed
Bark bark bark
Let me get up to see
It appears my dog is summoning me
Bark Bark Bark
That old familiar sound
As I peer out the window
With my loud mouthed hound
Bark Bark Bark
Looking in the distance I finally see
Why she’s been barking at me
Bark Bark Bark
There’s a leaf in the yard
And it’s blowing away
This is how we’ll spend
Most of our day
I’m a musician, but let me tell you this. Blowing, fingering, and tonguing isn’t just for instruments.
Hey, do you like blowing bubbles? (Yes)
Hi, I'm bubbles.
I'm jealous of your fan...
'Cuz it's blowing you and I'm not.
Call me leaves, cause you should be blowing me.
A twin complains to his mother, “ You said you didn’t have a favourite between me and Brian.”

We don’t darling,” replies his mother. “What would make you say such a thing?”

“Then why am I blowing up balloons for his surprise birthday party.”
What did the Teddy Bear say after blowing out his birthday candles?
No cake for me… I’m stuffed!
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.
It's Groundbreaking work.
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
There once was a woman from Arden

Who was blowing her man in her garden

He said “my dear Flo,

Where does it all go?

She said *gulp* “I beg your pardon?
The day after your birthday,
you look in the mirror to see:
a) you've got a zit from eating all that cake;
b) your love handles have expanded a half inch;
c) you singed your eyebrows blowing out the candles.

The day after your birthday,
a) you require six extra hours of sleep;
b) you can't find your living room under the birthday debris;
c) you wonder how you could possibly have done THAT.

The day after your birthday, it's time to:
a) return some gifts (what IS that, anyway?);
b) call your friends and apologize for yesterday;
c) get out of the country, fast.

The day after your birthday...
we should all look so great
and have it so good!

Happy Birthday!
Appreciate yourself and your life!

(Joanna Fuchs)
"A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken."
- James Dent
The snow is blowing. How about you?
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