The ghost scared all the boys who ventured into the haunted house and then varnished into the almirah!
It is not uncommon for elephants to start a stampede. Especially if they want to play for the Chargers.
Did you hear about the artist that has been drawing very small, colorful noodles?
He drew an itsy, bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow, polka dot linguini.
Someone told me I looked like a salt shaker. I took it as a condiment.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
What do you call a dog on the beach in the summer? A hot dog!
A strawberry will never help another strawberry because they tend to always get into jams.
A blond meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic.
"Everything ok with your car now?"
"Yes, thank goodness," the blond replies.
"Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?"
"Yeah, but he didn't. I was so relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!"
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
What do red berries say during the season they love best? Cherry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”
– Arthur Darvill
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
A man and a woman were traveling in a train.
Woman : "Every time you smile,feel like inviting you to my place. "
Man: "Oh really? Are you single?"
Woman: "No. I'm a dentist."
What happened to the patient who refused to get a much-needed transplant?
He had a change of heart.
Scientists permit us to see the sun in different light.
What do turkeys and women have in common?
A lot of guys are only interested in their breasts.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
I’m opening a grocery store that specializes in Swiss cheese and donuts.
I’m calling it Hole Foods.
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.
The girls next door gave me a Rolex for my birthday.
But I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.
Why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
How to scare kids away in the night
Want to give them a really big fright?
Go hide in the closet
They'll leave a deposit
When the boogieman busts out tonight.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
"IT’S A LIEEEEE!!"
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I hate poetry,
But I am into you.
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define "Great" he said,
"I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
"That was a howling adventure!" said the werewolf to the zombie.
“A well-trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.”—Helen Thomson
It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
An Australian army vehicle worth $74,000 has gone missing after being painted with camouflage.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
I found a pen that writes underwater.
It writes other words too.
"I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks." — Steve Martin
Irish I had another Guinness to drink.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
What did the eye witness say about the camel who was using the bushes as a lavatory?
I saw the hump take a dump in a clump
“Mr. Jones, I’ve reviewed this case very carefully,” said the divorce court judge, “And I’ve decided to give your wife $300 a week.”
“That’s very fair, your honor,” said the husband.
“I’ll try and send her a few bucks myself every now and then too.”
Six sick hicks nick six slick bricks with picks and sticks.
Where do saplings go to learn?
Elementree school
It says right here that this frozen pizza is enough for two.
Someone said you were looking for me.
Me: I have an appointment to see the doctor.
Nurse: which doctor?
Me: No, just the regular one
A group of crows drooling over a pastry is called a-tempted murder.
You mermake me happy.
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
What's the difference between a colonoscopy and an endoscopy?
The taste.
"Every culture has some ritual for joining two people together and making them stay that way, and ours is giving tax breaks."
- Bauvard
Want to see the real coming attraction?
Go to BabaMail
