Electric cars can't get exhausted...
...but they can get wheely tired.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What sound does a space turkey make? Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!
I rarely put orange slices in my beer.
Once in a Blue Moon.
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.
What happened when the orange broke out of prison?
All heck broke juice.
The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
Your earrings are the mirrors that reflect the moonlight into your eyes.
The ref better give me 2 for hooking, 'cause baby I'm hooked on you.
Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.
Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks? Neither, they both weigh a ton!
Kicking Baby Considered Healthy
Why did the cat get divorced?
He was a cheetah.
My doctor told me "No more spicy food.", but I decided to have one last fennel fling.
Cassini spacecraft took pictures of both Saturn and Earth. It was literally the best of both worlds.
What did the upright bass say to the nervous guitar?
“You’re too high strung, don’t fret.”
Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
“Surely Sylvia swims!” shrieked Sammy surprised. “Someone should show Sylvia some strokes so she shall not sink.”
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
He is the best chef in the city. His soups take my broth away.
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
A pilot friend of mine took the flight exam and flew past a rainbow. No wonder, he passed with flying colors.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
My wife got mad at me for playing catch with my son in the backyard
... I didn’t see the big deal until I dropped him.
There might be other fish in the sea, but you’re my sole mate
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cheese
Cheese who?
Cheese a nice girl.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
Frank Sinatra
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
Why don’t Alpacas like singing with background music?
They prefer to sing alpacapella.
What are the three things most important to bats about their local real estate?
Echolocation. Echolocation. Echolocation.
“Bring a compass. It’s awkward when you have to eat your friends.”
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I hate poetry,
But I am into you.
I bet you’re really flexible.
What do you call a lazy goat?
Billy Idle.
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
SO why does the golfer carry two shirts? In case he gets a hole in one.
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
We're a cover band
What does Santa often say to Mrs Claus? Come and look at the rain-dear.
I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at football
Nobody expects the Spanish in position.
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
A lot of people can't understand why Daniel Day Lewis's twin brother Daniel Night Lewis didn't make it in the movies.
That's because the difference between them is night and day.
“I’ve got 99 problems and I’m gonna go to yoga and solve about 53 of them.” -Unknown
As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
Buddy Hackett
What do you call a bully on Halloween? A jerk-o-lantern.
You should call us butter because we are on a roll. This would be one of the best volleyball puns to put on a T-shirt.
I'm starting a music group that performs Classical Greek music.
I'm calling it Oedipal Arrangements.
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