Why wouldn’t the Pharaoh let the Hebrews go?
He was in ‘de Nile.
One of the historical figures to play music with has got to be the talented Mr. Ben-jam-in Franklin.
How could I dance with another. When I saw you standing there.
Why did the two 4's skip lunch? They already 8 (ate).
I'd give me right arm to be ambidextrous!
"I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying."
- Oscar Wilde
If you’re lacking a little good cheer,
Go and tickle a bull in the rear.
For I’m sure that the rumor,
That they’ve no sense of humor,
Is a product of ignorant fear.
Having a ball
I was washing the car with my son, until he said...
“Dad, please, can’t you just use a sponge?”
Why was the pizzeria desperate for business?
Because they kneaded the dough!
I'm cold just thinking about Canada. Let's cuddle.
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
What do Santa’s elves cook with in the kitchen?
A u-tinsel.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
Are people jealous of the Irish?
Yeah, they’re green with envy.
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
Why did the soldier flush the toilet?
Because it was his doody.
Your sweater must be made out of wife material.
I tried to take a girl out to hunt seals for a first date.
But she wasn't really Inuit.
Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
I got fired on my first day as a car salesman.
Customer: "Cargo space?"
Me (speaking slowly): "No, not space.. Car go ROAD."
Manager: " Can I see you in my office?"
What concert costs $0.45?
50 Cent with Nickelback.
When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
Did you hear about the skeleton who dropped out of medical school?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.
What animals were last to leave the ark?
The elephants as they had to pack their trunks.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
“My wife is a psychologist… Not only does she know when I’m being a jerk, but she knows exactly what type of jerk I’m being.”—Lee Judge
I feel uncomfortable next to my fridge
It's way too cool for me
I beg your garden?
"My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light." — Rodney Dangerfield
A woman inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted."
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Are you a break stroker? Because you make my knees weak.
My wife was just recently diagnosed with colorectal cancer and now has surgery scheduled to remove a couple of inches of her colon. I expect her grammar will improve as a result.
Because she's going to have to learn how to use a semicolon.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
A salesman knocks on a door and a little kid answers. The kid's got a cigar in one hand and a beer in the other. Salesman says, "Are your parents home?" Kid says, "What do you think?"
What should someone do if they are stuck between a jaguar and a tiger? Simple, just take the Jaguar and drive away from the tiger.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
When life gives you mold - make penicillin.
If you search for pictures of corn on Google you'll only get stalk pictures.
But wait—there’s myrrh.
This is a taco and burrito conversation.
Nachos.
What do you call a hairy beast that’s lost?
A where-wolf!
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? Every morning you'll rise and shine!
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
A mathematician walks into a bar and says, “One beer for me, and 10 beers each for all my friends!”
Bartender: "Now that’s an order of magnitude!"
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
Go to BabaMail
