Is it me or the nature of money,
That's odd and particularly funny.
But when I have dough,
It goes quickly, you know,
And seeps out of my pockets like honey.
I love pressing F5. It's so refreshing.
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
Everything about you is perfect except one thing, you aren't married to me.
Two flies are playing football on a saucer.
They’re practicing for the cup.
Why don’t werewolf make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
Why did the skeleton go to acting classes?
He wanted tibia star.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
I love eating glow worms
Especially as a light snack
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
France is beautiful in every Cezanne.
Did you hear about the orange boxer?
He got beaten to a pulp.
How can you tell where the Easter Bunny left his treasure
Eggs marks the spot.
Love me tender love me true
Show me how you feel
Buy a ring and bend the knee
Then take me for a meal
Give me wine
Act like you’re mine
And woo me with your charm
Then kiss me quickly
Before I’m sickly
And hanging on your arm
(Anonymous)
My pet raven, Poe, started coughing... thought it was Corvid-19, but then the bird flu away. Think I will see him nevermore.
The evil King of Weatherland only had one favorite weather - hail, storm.
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
Cherry pie will set you back 10 dollars in Antigua, but 15 in Barbados. Yes, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
Got into my car and realized my wife had shut off all the A/C vents.
Definitely not cool.
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
A feather boa.
A cued peach visual communication system is used with people suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
I heard the King of spain caught Covid...
Heard he tested positive while on his plane going somewhere, now he has to quarantine there.
So the Reign in Spain remains solely on the Plane.
During holidays, soccer referees send their families yellow cards.
Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.
The cawllarborne of the skinny crow was so pronounced.
Q: What video games do fruits play?
A: Peach ball.
"I wood never leaf you."
Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because he couldn't find a date.
What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
What do you call a big Irish spider?
A Paddy long legs.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Hey there cyclist, an I make you a recovery drink? You're going to need it.
“Self-love seems so often unrequited.”
– Anthony Powell
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
I’m opening a grocery store that specializes in Swiss cheese and donuts.
I’m calling it Hole Foods.
What type of music is scary for birthday balloons? Pop music!
I've already heard seven cancer puns today.
If I hear tumor it's gonna benign.
What did the arrogant pickle say?
I'm kind of a big dill.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
Can you give me directions to your heart? I've seemed to have lost myself in your eyes.
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
Why do dwarves hunt dragons in the morning?
Because the early beard gets the wyrm.
I love you more than the sun and moon
I loved you since you left the womb
I love you though you are quite hairy
And I never find it scary
Even when you pick your toes
My love for you only grows
(Anonymous)
You're not allowed to use your hands in this game.
That look soots you.
I saved a tiny baby crow and now he won't leave, I guess you could say he's mi-cro.
Your pace or mine?
What goes: vroooom-schreech, vrooom-schreech, vroooom-schreech? A blonde at a flashing red light
Go to BabaMail
