Some call them opponents. We call them victims. It sounds like you have the right mindset to succeed on the court!
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
What do you call an ant that doesn’t get warm?
Coolant.
My love for you is like the universe… never-ending!
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.
Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
Noah - he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.
Whats the difference between the Bride and Groom In marriage, the bride gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains.
I bet your muffled screams are as cute as u.
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
What is a parrot's favourite colour shade?
Polly-chromatic
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
What did the llama get when he graduated school?
A dipllama.
Seven slick slimey snakes slowly sliding southward.
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
Luca here, I’m just going to cut to the chase and ask if you want to get a drink with me
You look like trash, may I take you out?
You're as intoxicating as a home distilled liquor.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul with an owl?
Something that scares people and doesn’t give a hoot!
Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soot's him Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? Because the present's beneath them.
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
You must have been born in Pearl Harbor, because baby you da bomb.
What do you call the age of a pilgrim? Pilgrimage.
I think my back hurts. I'm okay though.
It's spine.
Went to church on Halloween
Turned out to be a blessing in disguise
I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.
It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.
I really like guitars
They just strike a chord with me.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus!
A priest, a rabbit and a deacon walk into a blood bank.
"I think I might be a type o." said the rabbit.
I'd make like Jacob and work seven years for you to be my bride.
Whats the worst thing about manufacturing tabletops?
It's counterproductive.
"When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny."
– Greg Tamblyn
Can you teach me how to use this machine?
"The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has."
- Will Rogers
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
What happened when the koala tripped and fell in a crowded restaurant? He got embearassed.
After all is red and done, all the colors in the rainbow are equally beautiful.
I had a great childhood, I remember my dad would put me in a tire & roll me down the hill all summer.
Those were Goodyears.
Your presence gives meaning to my yoga practice and enlightenment.
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy! I'm stuffed!
What do you call fake ramen noodles? An impasta.
In the medieval ages, many knights had to travel throughout day and night. In order to increase their visibility in darkness, they invented a device known as the knightvision goggles.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
Angel food cake, of course!
I like Ronaldo, But I'd like to get Messi.
I’m saving money for bushes to plant around the yard when my career is over...
It’s my retirement hedge fund.
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