Is there something in your eye? Oh, wait, it's just a sparkle.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
"I'm so egg-cited for Easter."
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
“Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.”—Ogden Nash
What was the ice cream cone’s naughty pick up line?
Wanna lick me?
I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
You must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.
Why do donuts hate puns so much?
They donut like to joke around!
What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
What do you call a cherry that is hard as nails? Tough as old fruits.
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
What did the insulted orange say to the kiwi? Ex-squeeze-me?
These ideas are too shellow, they won’t be of any help.
What do you call it when a prisoner takes his own mug shot? A cellfie.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
What's the difference between sanitizer and moisturizer?
One will burn your eyes, the other will moisturize.
I'm sorry but you need to pay your rent.
You've been living in my heart for quite some time now.
Q: What anime series do fruits like to watch?
A: One peach.
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
The idea is to die young as late as possible.
Montagu's Maxim
What's the difference between Hummus and Humus?
"mmmm"
The coddled superstar sat in the seats with the fans instead of on the bench
with the team; for this, ironically enough, he was accused of grandstanding!
Hey, Are you made of candy? Because you look sooo sweet!
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
Where is the best place to get camel milk?
Straight from the Dromedairy.
The pilot was lucky. He always had work. Whenever he made an application, it was almost certain that he would land a job.
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
You can tickle my ivories anytime, baby.
So you live in the seventh most populous city in France?
Must be Nice.
How do Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code!
What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird?
Cherpies, but don't worry.
It's tweetable.
My mom is really soup-rised at the outcome when she puts yeast in the broth.
What is sticky and brown? A stick!
From the b-autumn of my heart, I love fall!
3 animals enter a bar. A lion, a tiger and a bear.
Oh my!
What did the koala write in his Valentine’s Day card to his girlfriend? “I love you-calyptus”.
I’m very frond of you.
Why did the Koala cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Control freak.
Co…
You should say "Control freak who" now.
Do you like bananas or blueberries?
I want to know what kind of pancakes to make in the morning.
What’s the healthiest piece of furniture?
The vege-table
This eye pun couldn't be any cornea.
What does marriage do? Puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.
A fight between tiger and lion broke out. Both of them wanted to become the next empe-roar of the jungle.
Call me Kathleen Wynne ‘cause I’d spend all my money on you.
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