The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
What is the reproductive area in South America? Spermatagonia.
What did the flower say to the flower next to him? Move over bud!
Are you the perigee moon? Because I’m so attracted to you day by day.
“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”
– Mitch Hedburg
Is there a bathroom in this tennis club? Because I’m about to drop a deuce.
What does a posh salad shout before it's eaten?
KELP!
Something is odd about my hot stove.
I just can't quite put my finger on it.
If you encounter a sea monster, you better get Kraken!
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
Why does Foghorn Leghorn take it slow when April rolls around?
Because he’s no spring chicken!
You are beryllium, gold, and titanium all rolled into one. Simply BeAuTi-ful.
What do llamas always say after yoga class?
“Llamaste.”
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
Why did the chicken run across the road?
To get to the other side faster.
Why is earth worm humor offensive?
They only know dirty jokes.
What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer? Mice cubes!
How do you know that it's too cold outside for a picnic?
You chip your tooth on the soup.
I'd hate to be the bearer of bad blues.
it was my pet dragon's birthday today
We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.
What do you call two fat people having a chat? A heavy discussion
I don’t think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
Frank Carson
What do you call two watermelons that are not allowed to get married? A couple of can’t- elopes.
“My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.” ~ Unknown
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
What do you call a cute donut?
A-dough-able.
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
I don’t understand why ear biting is a fetish
Almost everyone eats corn.
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
What kind of shoes do all spies wear? Sneakers.
I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until a doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
There’s a big thunderstorm. The road is blocked by a big mudslide. A little boy asks his dad, “Why does earth fall down like that?”
His dad answers, “It’s terrain.”
Who is never hungry on Thanksgiving?
The turkey, because he’s already stuffed!
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
I asked the staff at my local garden center what to grow in my garden. They gave me some sage advice.
What do you call an artistic piece of furniture?
A drawer
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul with an owl?
Something that scares people and doesn’t give a hoot!
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
Can I show you my yellow submarine?
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
My son asked me how I never seemed to lose the TV remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
How do you get in contact with a Greek architect?
You column.
Why can't you trust zebras?
Because they're convicted horse felons.
With my IQ and your body we could begin a race of genetic superchildren to conquer the earth.
“Yoga is too slow.” — Rob Gronkowski
What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant? Swimming trunks. Where do bees go to the bathroom? At the BP station!
Do you play the guitar? Because you can touch strings of my heart
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
Go to BabaMail
