What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat? Anything she wants!
Do you need some encourage-mint?
What is a grandma sheep called?
A baaaa-nana
What language do things that fly in the sky speak....
Plane english
When Dumbo’s mom was pregnant, no one would talk about it.
It was the elephant in the womb.
why are the discarded papers that once held the halloween candy just like vocalists who have lost their rhythm, art, and poetry?
they are both empty rappers
On his deathbed, my granddad said to me, "Remember these two words. They'll open a lot of doors for you in life."
"Push and pull."
There was an Old Person of Dover,
Who rushed through a field of blue Clover;
But some very large bees,
Stung his nose and his knees,
So he very soon went back to Dover.
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Sadie.
Sadie who?
Sadie magic word and watch me disappear!
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
I’m jealous of your stethoscope… I am the one who should be wrapped around your neck!
What happened to the zombie that made him visit the doctor? He had a crummy feeling.
Why doesn’t the sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees!
What do you call related toilet rolls that sleep together?
Napkins.
A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar.
They all get a drink, because bars in America are legally required to serve people of all religions.
I said to my wife, "I need to call the doctor today."
"Which doctor?" she asked.
"No, the regular kind."
Where was the first donut cooked?
In Greece.
My late father once said
Sorry I’m late.
I went to the doctor with hearing problems. He said, "Can you describe the symptoms?"
I said, “Homer’s the big dude and Marge has blue hair...”
How does an antisocial crow say about a family party? "It was murder".
What did the lipstick say after he let down his friend?
I’ll make it up to you.
What did one stranger say to the other? Nothing. They didn’t know each other.
What do you call a strawberry in math?
A berry-able.
How fast can a cave become vacant? At the drop of a bat.
It's been a hard day's night without your lovin', Oh darling.
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
For waterproofing their nests, crows buy caw-king.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Baby flamingos really are badly behaved. I think it’s because their parents never put their foot down.
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
Guess what I got my toilet for its birthday?
A Urinal cake.
Hey, want to get together sometime since we both have unpaired electrons?
If you were in the jungle and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Whenever the peach gets angry, it looks at my face and screams: “You are just a peach of sh*t!”
“I love America, but I can’t spend the whole year here. I can’t afford the taxes.”
— Mick Jagger
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
What kind of humor did the Founding Fathers partake in?
Dad jokes.
I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought...
"That's just spam."
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
There was a young lady from Niger,
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger.
They came back from the ride,
With the lady inside,
And the smile on the face of the tiger.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
What did the buffalo say when his son crossed the road?
-Bison.
Last night at dinner we had some fish,
and though I tried, I did not finish.
My mother told me while I chewed,
brains loved fish over all other food.
“A mistle-toast to the holiday season.”
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
Where in the World Can You Find the Highest Concentration of Engineers?
Antarctica! Because that's where all the P. Enguins are!
Go to BabaMail
