Unicycle? Girl! How about U-‘n’-I cycle?
Who is the wasps' favorite singer?
Sting.
Where’s a dolphin’s favorite place to drink?
A dive bar!
What do you call a lie told by a skeleton?
A fibula.
"What did the yogi tell the door-to-door salesperson who came to his home selling vacuum cleaners? Too many attachments!"
- Sadhana Yoga
"Whenever I See"
Whenever I see your eyes
There is something that I feel
You look so sleepy
As a bear after a meal.
How do you kiss someone at the end of the world?
On the apoca-lips.
You must have been born in Pearl Harbor, because baby you da bomb.
Can I take your temperature? You're looking hot today.
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
What's worst than Elin Nordegren smashing your face in with a 9 iron? Lorena Bobbit stealing your putter!
Are you spaghetti? I want to put sauce on you.
I almost got into a fight with a bendy straw.
When I put it in my drink, it tried to flex on me.
Recently, my friend had his ankle bone crack.
I told him he shouldn't be so broken up over it.
What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning? "Excuse Me... ahem... To be or not to be roasted, that is the question!"
A cream-filled donut and an eclair decided to get a divorce.
It’s a sad story, but the real victims are their children. They’re in for a grueling custardy battle.
What kind of music group only makes songs for exercise programs?
A sweatband.
Half of Italy is complaining about the coronavirus and the other half is laughing not taking it seriously.
All they do is cheese and wine.
What do you call a magician on a plane? A flying sorcerer!
Even if I was T-Rex, I would find a way to hug you.
One strawberry said to the other, “Were it not that you were so sweet, you wouldn’t have ended up in this jam.”
Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium --- Batman!
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Why did the man bring a gun to the clock factory?
To kill some time.
You look pretty fun, I hope this means I’m headed into a new S-era of good luck
If you shave your legs as well as that fennel, I can't wait to touch them.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
We should've guessed the failed postman wouldn't be any better at delivering his acting lines.
I said to my son, "There's only one thing about Halloween that scares me."
He asked, "Which is?"
I replied, "Exactly!"
Hey girl, these swimming pool lane lines can't keep us apart.
"In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom."
What does anti-humour have in common with a half empty bottle of ketchup?
Nothing.
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
Is your name Pepsi? Because you sure are sizzling.
I do not like lotion at all.
It really gets under my skin.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
Why did the troll kiss the witch?
To keep her busy in love!
Are you a firework?! Because your lighting up my eyes.
“Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” – Will Rogers
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
Where do you store peach juice? Inside of a peach-er.
My friend once used laughing gas as deodorant.
He smelled funny the whole day.
Why did one pineapple invite another to their party? Because they were real piner-pals.
Why should a bowling alley be quiet?
So you can hear a pin drop!
What happened to the Venus Fly Trap's plant food?
The arbor-ate-em.
"Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough"
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
How was the first giraffe made?
Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.
Go to BabaMail
