What pet makes the loudest noise? A trum-pet!
What goes up when the rain comes down? An umbrella.
What do you cal purple when it is being mean? Violent.
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
Did you hear about the circus fire? Yeah, it was in'tents'.
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
What do you call a ghosts mom and dad? Transparents
What do you call a man with no body and just a nose? Nobody nose.
What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck.
Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: He was feeling really crumbie!
What is the tallest building in the world? The library! It has the most stories!
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? SUPPLIES!
Can February March? No. But April May.
Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? He couldn't concentrate!
How do you organize a space party? You planet!
Who do fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales.
Q: Why did the king go to the dentist?
A: To get his teeth crowned!
Why can't you take a nap during a race? Because if you snooze, you loose!
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one!
What do you call leftover aliens? Extra Terrestrials.
What do you call a magician on a plane? A flying sorcerer!
What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller.
Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!
What did the father say whilst teaching his kid to tie his shoelaces?
Knot bad
How many books can you put in an empty backpack? One! After that its not empty!
What never asks questions but receives a lot of answers? the Telephone.
What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer? The Space bar!
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud
What has 5 fingers but isn't your hand?
My hand.
Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield?
There are too many ears.
Knock knock…
Who’s there?
Voodoo.
Voodoo who?
Voodoo you think you are?
Did you hear about that new broom? It's sweeping the nation!
What did the hamburger name his daughter? Patty!
What do you call a person that chops up cereal. a cereal killer.
Where do snowmen keep their money? In snow banks.
Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
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