What do you get when you cross Speedy Gonzales with a country singer? Arriba McEntire.
Did you hear about the kidnapping? He woke up.
Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.
Q: Where does a boat go when it's sick?
A: To the dock!
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
Who cleans the bottom of the ocean? A Mer-Maid
What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business!
Q: When does a doctor get mad?
A: When he runs out of patients!
What do you call a baby monkey? A Chimp off the old block.
Q: Why did the tree go to the dentist?
A: To get a root canal.
Which is the building is the largest? The library because it has the most stories.
What do you call two fat people having a chat? A heavy discussion.
Q: What is a dentist's favorite animal?
A: A molar bear!
What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A private tutor.
What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.
What do you call a horse that can't lose a race? Sherbet
What did the painter say to the wall? One more crack like that and I'll plaster you!
Why was the broom late? It over swept!
Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk? Because he wanted to work over-time!
Why are elephants so wrinkled?
Because they take too long to iron!
Why did the girl bring lipstick and eye shadow to school? She had a make-up exam!
What event do spiders love to attend?
Webbings.
Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job? Because she couldn't control her pupils?
What did the tie say to the hat? You go on ahead and I'll hang around!
Why did the belt go to jail? Because it held up a pair of pants!
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
"How do you shoot a killer bee?" "With a bee bee gun."
What do you call a boy who finally stood up to the bullies? An ambulance.
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant.
Little Johnny asked his father, "Dad, can you write in the dark?"
His father said, "I think so. What do you want me to write?"
Little Johnny replied, "Oh, just sign this report card for me..."
What kind of bed does a mermaid sleep in? A water
What’s Thanos’ favorite app to talk to friends?
Snap chat.
What do you get if you a cross a card game with a typhoon? Bridge over troubled water.
What do you call a bear with no socks on? Bare-foot.
How does a suit put his child into bed? He tux him in.
Can February March? No. But April May.
Knock, knock
Who’s There?
Annie
Annie Who?
Annie thing you can do, I can do better.
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