Knock knock…
Who’s there?
Voodoo.
Voodoo who?
Voodoo you think you are?
Q: What does a dentist do during an earthquake?
A: She braces herself!
How do you organize a space party? You planet!
Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: He was feeling really crumbie!
What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? Every morning you'll rise and shine!
Why do we never tell jokes about pizza?
They’re too cheesy.
Why can't you take a nap during a race? Because if you snooze, you loose!
Did you hear the joke about the roof?
Never mind, it’s over your head.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will Let it go.
Where do bulls get their messages? On a bull-etin board.
What did the man say to the wall? One more crack like that and I'll plaster ya!
Why did the daddy rabbit go to the barber?
He had a lot of little hares.
What did one wall say to the other wall?
"I’ll meet you at the corner!"
Did you hear about the injured vegetable? Some say he got beet.
Why are chefs so mean? They beat eggs and whip cream.
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
Q: What is a dentist's favorite animal?
A: A molar bear!
How do spiders communicate? Through the World Wide Web.
Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school? Because they're all in High School!
What did the alien say to the garden? Take me to your weeder.
Q: What did the judge say to the dentist?
A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
What is a tree's favorite drink? Root beer!
What did the triangle say to the circle? Your pointless!
What kind of flower doesn't sleep at night? The Day-zzz
What do you call a book that's about the brain? A mind reader.
Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep? So he could have sweet dreams. What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare.
What does a shark like to eat with peanut butter? Jellyfish!
What runs but can't walk? The faucet!
What kind of key opens a banana? A monkey!
What did one math book say to the other?
I’ve got so many problems.
What do cats eat for breakfast? Mice Crispies!
What washes up on very small beaches? Microwaves!
What do you call sad coffee?" Despresso.
Did you hear the joke about the germ? Never mind. I don't want to spread it around
What do you call a man with no body and just a nose? Nobody nose.
Little Johnny asked his father, "Dad, can you write in the dark?"
His father said, "I think so. What do you want me to write?"
Little Johnny replied, "Oh, just sign this report card for me..."
What do you call leftover aliens? Extra Terrestrials.
Why did the barber win the race? Because he took a short cut.
What do you call a person that chops up cereal. a cereal killer.
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear.
I went to the doctor with hearing problems. He said, "Can you describe the symptoms?"
I said, “Homer’s the big dude and Marge has blue hair...”
What do you call a magician that lost his magic?
Ian.
What did the judge say to the dentist? Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.
Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!
Where do crayons go on vacation? Color-ado!
Q: Where does a boat go when it's sick?
A: To the dock!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, cows go MOO!
What season is it when you are on a trampoline? Spring time.
Did you know a nose cannot be 12 inches long?
Otherwise it’d be a foot!
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no-body to go with.
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