What do you call a horse that can't lose a race? Sherbet
What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!
19 and 20 got into a fight.
21.
What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A Yamahahaha
What runs but can't walk? The faucet!
What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut?
I'm a cashew!
What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch
Whens the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty
What kind of shoes do all spies wear? Sneakers.
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
Why is Basketball such a messy sport? Because you dribble on the floor!
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He felt crummy!
What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck.
What do you call two fat people having a chat? A heavy discussion.
Did you hear about the vampire bicycle that went round biting people's arms off? It was a vicious cycle.
Did you hear about the new corduroy pillowcases? Their making headlines...
What did the leopard say after eating his owner? Man, that hit the "spot."
What did the beach say to the tide when it came in?
Long time, no sea.
What does Minnie Mouse drive?
A Minnie van!
What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel.
What did the man say to the wall? One more crack like that and I'll plaster ya!
Q: What did one tooth say to the other tooth?
A: Thar's gold in them fills!
What is the tallest building in the world? The library! It has the most stories!
Where do snowmen keep their money? In snow banks.
What did the hamburger name his daughter? Patty!
Why did the log fall into a creek? Because that's how it ROLLS!
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a bogey in it.
Can February march?
No, but April may.
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.
Question: What is the oldest animal?
Answer: The Zebra, it's still in black and white!
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Who goes to the bathroom in the middle of a party? A party pooper.
Why did the cake grow a daisy?
It was made with flower.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
Q: Why did the tree go to the dentist?
A: To get a root canal.
Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta
What’s a good name for a detective?
Mr. E
What do you call a ghosts mom and dad? Transparents
What did Delaware? a New Jersey
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will Let it go.
What kind of jokes do you make in the shower? Clean Jokes!
Why did the belt get arrested? He held up a pair of pants.
Why did the insomniac man get arrested? He resisted a rest
What’s the most expensive kind of fish?
A gold fish.
Did you hear the one about the geologist? He took his wife for granite so she left him What did Winnie The Pooh say to his agent? Show me the honey!
What do you call having your grandma on speed dial? Instagram.
What belongs to you but others use more? Your name
A mom texts, "Hi! Son, what does IDK, LY, & TTYL mean?" He texts back, "I Don't Know, Love You, & Talk To You Later." The mom texts him, "It's ok, don't worry about it. I'll ask your sister, love you too."
What’s Thanos’ favorite app to talk to friends?
Snap chat.
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