What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud
A bunch of vampire hunters needed to talk
So they scheduled a stakeholders meeting.
What do you get when you cross Sonic The Hedgehog and Curious George? 2 Fast 2 Curious
Where do bulls get their messages? On a bull-etin board.
Why are elephants so wrinkled?
Because they take too long to iron!
Did you know vampires aren’t real?
Unless you Count Dracula.
Why didn't the 11 year old go to the pirate movie? because it was rated arrrrr!
Who can shave 10 times a day and still have a beard? A barber.
Why did the two 4's skip lunch? They already 8 (ate).
What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business!
Where do crayons go on vacation? Color-ado!
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear
Did you know a nose cannot be 12 inches long?
Otherwise it’d be a foot!
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
What do you call a magician that lost his magic?
Ian.
What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can’t tunafish.
What do you call a bear with no socks on? Bare-foot.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A stick.
Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs? Because the cow has the utter.
What do you call a crushed angle? a rectangle
How do you repair a broken tomato? Tomato Paste!
What do you call a gangsta snowman? Froze-T
Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
Did you hear about the paddle sale at the boat store? It was quite an oar deal.
Why did the log fall into a creek? Because that's how it ROLLS!
What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.
Why did God make only one Yogi Bear? Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo.
Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks? Neither, they both weigh a ton!
How do spiders communicate? Through the World Wide Web.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An Investigator
Why did the computer break up with the internet? There was no "Connection".
Where do boats go when they get sick? The dock
What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.
Q: Why did the king go to the dentist?
A: To get his teeth crowned!
Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield?
There are too many ears.
What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!
What did one aspiring wig say to the other aspiring wig? I wanna get a head!
Why was the weightlifter upset?
She worked with dumbbells.
What do you call a boy who finally stood up to the bullies? An ambulance.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him!
What do you get when you cross a lawyer with the Godfather? An offer you can't understand.
What kind of berry has a coloring book? A crayon-berry
What kind of button won't unbutton? A bellybutton!
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
Batman walks into a superhero-only pool, he is quickly stopped by a guard, the guard points to a sign that says
"No swimming without supervision."
Who goes to the bathroom in the middle of a party? A party pooper.
What do you call a window that raps? 2PANEZ
What did the digital watch say to his grandfather? Look grandpa no hands!
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