What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A Yamahahaha
What do you call a gangsta snowman? Froze-T
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He felt crummy!
What bow can't be tied? A rainbow!
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
Who can shave 10 times a day and still have a beard? A barber.
Why did the two 4's skip lunch? They already 8 (ate).
How do you communicate with a fish? Drop him a line!
What kind of button won't unbutton? A bellybutton!
What did the judge say to the dentist? Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.
What’s Thanos’ favorite app to talk to friends?
Snap chat.
What do you call a three-footed aardvark? a yardvark!
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue
What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? Every morning you'll rise and shine!
What did the earth say to all the other planets?
Wow you guys have no life.
What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn't move? The road!
What do you call a crushed angle? a rectangle
Who cleans the bottom of the ocean? A Mer-Maid
Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? The scientists were brainstorming!
Why are chefs so mean? They beat eggs and whip cream.
What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup? Firecrackers!
What do you call a horse that can't lose a race? Sherbet
How does a suit put his child into bed? He tux him in.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Tentacles.
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you?
Nacho cheese!
Teacher: Use a sentence that starts with "I"
Bobby: I is...
Teacher: No, Bobby. You should say "I am", never "I is".
Bobby: "I am the 9th letter of the alphabet."
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a bogey in it.
What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business!
What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? Odor in the court. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Dam!
Where do boats go when they get sick? The dock
Which month do soldiers hate most? The month of March!
What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark? Flood lights!
Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture? None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path.
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa? A Clausterphobic
What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.
Did you hear about the ghost comedian? He was booed off stage.
Why did the man with one hand cross the road? To get to the second hand shop.
What's the difference between a cat and a frog? A Cat has nine lives but a Frog croaks every night!
What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.
Did you ever hear about that movie constipation? It never came out.
What has one horn and gives milk?
A milk truck.
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta
Q: What is a dentist's favorite animal?
A: A molar bear!
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear.
What does Minnie Mouse drive?
A Minnie van!
What did the snowman ask the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
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