Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk? Because he wanted to work over-time!
A bunch of vampire hunters needed to talk
So they scheduled a stakeholders meeting.
What's the difference between a cat and a frog? A Cat has nine lives but a Frog croaks every night!
What do you call a pile of kittens a meowntain
What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
PRIME-mates.
What kind of driver never get a parking ticket? A screw driver
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
Did you hear about that new broom? It's sweeping the nation!
What do you call a sheep with no head and no legs? A cloud!
What has one horn and gives milk?
A milk truck.
Q: Why did the king go to the dentist?
A: To get his teeth crowned!
Why did the daddy rabbit go to the barber?
He had a lot of little hares.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? A. Milk and quackers!
What do you do if someone rolls their eyes at you?
Roll them back.
What did the stamp say to the envelope? Stick with me and we will go places!
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped on chewing gum? He got stuck in Orbit.
Which is the longest word in the dictionary? "Smiles", because there is a mile between each "s"!
What do you call having your grandma on speed dial? Instagram.
Have you heard the joke about the butter? I better not tell you, it might spread. How do baseball players stay cool? They sit next to their fans.
Where do crayons go on vacation? Color-ado!
Did you hear the score in the game between the ocean and the beach? It’s tide.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, cows go MOO!
Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.
Did you hear about the painter who was hospitalized? Reports say it was due to too many strokes.
Why do ducks have tail feathers?
To cover their buttquacks.
Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs? Because the cow has the utter.
What has 5 fingers but isn't your hand?
My hand.
Which month do soldiers hate most? The month of March!
What did the policeman say to his tummy?
Freeze. You’re under a vest.
What do you call a ghosts mom and dad? Transparents
Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!
Why don’t you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean? Because they dropped out of school!
Knock, knock
Who’s There?
Annie
Annie Who?
Annie thing you can do, I can do better.
What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you?
Nacho cheese!
Did you hear about the kidnapping? He woke up.
Did you hear about the angry pancake? He just flipped.
Why is England the wettest country? Because the queen has reigned there for years!
What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.
Why did Harry Potter throw away all his old potions?
They were past their hexpiration date!
Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup? Firecrackers!
I went to the doctor with hearing problems. He said, "Can you describe the symptoms?"
I said, “Homer’s the big dude and Marge has blue hair...”
Why did the God of Thunder need to stretch his muscles so much when he was a kid?
He was a little Thor.
What did the leopard say after eating his owner? Man, that hit the "spot."
Q: Where does a boat go when it's sick?
A: To the dock!
Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!
Did you hear the joke about the germ? Never mind. I don't want to spread it around
How do spiders communicate? Through the World Wide Web.
What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch
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