Why are pirates called pirates? Cause they arrrrr.
What has one horn and gives milk?
A milk truck.
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
What do you do if someone rolls their eyes at you?
Roll them back.
Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs? Because the cow has the utter.
What dog keeps the best time? A watch dog.
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
Who earns a living driving their customers away? A taxi driver. What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise? LMAYO
What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!
Why can't you take a nap during a race? Because if you snooze, you loose!
Why is justice best served cold?
Because if it were warm, it would be justwater.
Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!
What time is it when people are throwing pieces of bread at your head?
Time to duck.
What happened when a faucet, a tomato and lettuce were in a race? The lettuce was ahead, the faucet was running and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
What do you call it when your nose is stuffy at the rodeo?
Cowboy Boogie.
What did the man say to the wall? One more crack like that and I'll plaster ya!
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A stick.
What did the father say whilst teaching his kid to tie his shoelaces?
Knot bad
What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.
What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? Odor in the court. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Dam!
What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark? Flood lights!
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his parents were in a jam!
Did you hear the score in the game between the ocean and the beach? It’s tide.
Why are elephants so wrinkled?
Because they take too long to iron!
What kind of shoes do all spies wear? Sneakers.
Q: What did the dentist get for an award?
A: A little plaque
When I was young there were only 25 letters in the Alphabet. Nobody new why.
What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.
Why does a hummingbird hum? It doesn't know the words!
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
Why didn’t the lamp sink?
It was too light.
Why did the log fall into a creek? Because that's how it ROLLS!
What do you give a dog with a fever? Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog! What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon? A sour puss!
I’m sick of martial arts.
I have kung flu.
What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly? It barked with de-light!
What kind of emotions do noses feel? Nostralgia. Why did the dog cross the road? To get to the "barking" lot!
Did you hear the joke about the germ? Never mind. I don't want to spread it around
What scares a caterpillar?
A dog-erpillar!
What exam do young witches have to pass? A spell-ing test!
Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath? She still hasn't gotten all the hair off her tongue.
Why did the chicken cross the road? It was playing crossy road.
What belongs to you but others use more? Your name
What is the tallest building in the world? The library! It has the most stories!
What do you call two fat people having a chat? A heavy discussion.
Did you hear about the painter who was hospitalized? Reports say it was due to too many strokes.
Q: Why did the king go to the dentist?
A: To get his teeth crowned!
What has one head, one foot and four legs? A Bed
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them
How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path.
Go to BabaMail
