Choose any number between 2 and 7. Multiply by 4 and add 3. Now reverse the digits and close your eyes.
Dark, isn’t it?
Q: What did the dentist get for an award?
A: A little plaque
Why did the barber win the race? Because he took a short cut.
Learning how to collect trash wasn’t hard.
I just picked it up as I went along.
What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
PRIME-mates.
What kind of driver never get a parking ticket? A screw driver
Did you hear about the guy who died when an axe fell on him? The police are calling it an axe-i-dent.
How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path.
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
Did you hear about the circus fire? Yeah, it was in'tents'.
Q: What did one tooth say to the other tooth?
A: Thar's gold in them fills!
What do you get when you cross Sonic The Hedgehog and Curious George? 2 Fast 2 Curious
Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school? Because they're all in High School!
What do you call a computer floating in the ocean? A Dell Rolling in the Deep.
What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
What did a sign say outside the pet shop? Buy 1 dog get 1 flea!
What do you call a computer that sings? A-Dell
Why didn’t the lamp sink?
It was too light.
Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep? So he could have sweet dreams. What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare.
What did the daddy chimney say to the baby chimney? You are to little to smoke!
Did you hear about the paddle sale at the boat store? It was quite an oar deal.
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
Why did the soccer player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score.
Did you hear the joke about the germ? Never mind. I don't want to spread it around
What game does the sky love to play?
Twister.
19 and 20 got into a fight.
21.
What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer? The Space bar!
How does a suit put his child into bed? He tux him in.
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
What do you call a man with no body and just a nose? Nobody nose.
What was the seal's favorite subject in school?
ART ART ART!
What do you call a funny mountain? hill-arious
Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks? Neither, they both weigh a ton!
Why are pirates called pirates? Cause they arrrrr.
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped on chewing gum? He got stuck in Orbit.
What did the leopard say after eating his owner? Man, that hit the "spot."
What did the M&M go to college? Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
Who can shave 10 times a day and still have a beard? A barber.
How did the farmer mend his pants? With cabbage patches!
What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel.
What vehicle has 4 wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
What stays on the ground but never gets dirty? Shadow.
What kind of jokes do you make in the shower? Clean Jokes!
What do bulls do when they go shopping? They CHARGE!
I went to the doctor with hearing problems. He said, "Can you describe the symptoms?"
I said, “Homer’s the big dude and Marge has blue hair...”
What the difference between you and a calendar? a calendar has dates.
How do billboards talk?
Sign language.
Why can't you take a nap during a race? Because if you snooze, you loose!
Why are teddy bears never hungry?
They’re always stuffed!
Go to BabaMail
