Q: Where does a boat go when it's sick?
A: To the dock!
What do you call a bear with no socks on? Bare-foot.
What four letters will frighten a burglar? O I C U Where does bad light go? To prism!
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A stick.
What has one horn and gives milk?
A milk truck.
Q: What did the judge say to the dentist?
A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.
What do you call a South American girl who is always in a hurry? Urgent Tina
What kind of bird sticks to sweaters? a Vel-Crow.
What did the M&M go to college? Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
What kind of button won't unbutton? A bellybutton!
What is brown and sticky?
A stick!
What did the judge say to the dentist? Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
How do you communicate with a fish? Drop him a line!
Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?
Because people kept toasting him!
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean? Because they dropped out of school!
"Mom look! I’m a 3D printer!"
"Ugh Tommy, close the door when you poop."
What did one elevator say to the other elevator? I think I'm coming down with something!
Q: What did the dentist get for an award?
A: A little plaque
Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!
Did you hear the one about the geologist? He took his wife for granite so she left him What did Winnie The Pooh say to his agent? Show me the honey!
Why can't a leopard hide? Because he's always spotted!
What did they baby corn say to the mama corn?
Where’s pop corn?
What did the tie say to the hat? A. You go on ahead and I'll hang around
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
Can February March? No. But April May.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An Investigator
Who do fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales.
Teacher: Use a sentence that starts with "I"
Bobby: I is...
Teacher: No, Bobby. You should say "I am", never "I is".
Bobby: "I am the 9th letter of the alphabet."
Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? The scientists were brainstorming!
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? "Where's Popcorn?"
What time is it when people are throwing pieces of bread at your head?
Time to duck.
What happened when a faucet, a tomato and lettuce were in a race? The lettuce was ahead, the faucet was running and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
Why is it so windy inside a stadium?
There are hundreds of fans.
What do you call sad coffee?" Despresso.
How did the farmer mend his pants? With cabbage patches!
What did the painter say to the wall? One more crack like that and I'll plaster you!
Why is England the wettest country? Because the queen has reigned there for years!
What do you cal purple when it is being mean? Violent.
What was the seal's favorite subject in school?
ART ART ART!
Learning how to collect trash wasn’t hard.
I just picked it up as I went along.
Did you hear the joke about the germ? Never mind. I don't want to spread it around
What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits!
What game does the sky love to play?
Twister.
Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs? Because the cow has the utter.
Q: When does a doctor get mad?
A: When he runs out of patients!
Did you hear about that new broom? It's sweeping the nation!
Knock, knock
Who’s There?
Annie
Annie Who?
Annie thing you can do, I can do better.
Q: Has your tooth stopped hurting yet?
A: I don't know, the dentist kept it.
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