Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? The scientists were brainstorming!
What did Delaware? a New Jersey
Why did the computer break up with the internet? There was no "Connection".
Did you hear about the monster with five legs? His trousers fit him like a glove.
Did you hear the joke about the germ? Never mind. I don't want to spread it around
What do you call it when your nose is stuffy at the rodeo?
Cowboy Boogie.
What do you call two fat people having a chat? A heavy discussion.
What kind of bird sticks to sweaters? a Vel-Crow.
What did the beach say to the tide when it came in?
Long time, no sea.
Why did the man with one hand cross the road? To get to the second hand shop.
What stays in the corner and travels all over the world? A stamp.
Q: What did one tooth say to the other tooth?
A: Thar's gold in them fills!
What runs but can't walk? The faucet!
Did you hear about that new broom? It's sweeping the nation!
Why was the broom late? It over swept!
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
What do you call a crushed angle? a rectangle
What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.
What kind of emotions do noses feel? Nostralgia. Why did the dog cross the road? To get to the "barking" lot!
Batman walks into a superhero-only pool, he is quickly stopped by a guard, the guard points to a sign that says
"No swimming without supervision."
What do you call a book that's about the brain? A mind reader.
What do you get if you a cross a card game with a typhoon? Bridge over troubled water.
Did you hear about the injured vegetable? Some say he got beet.
Who cleans the bottom of the ocean? A Mer-Maid
The opposite of isolate is...
yousoearly.
What do you call an 80s synth pop band with a scoop of ice cream? Depeche a la Mode.
What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships
What kind of lunch do moms never prepare in the morning?
Their own.
Q: What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?
A: I hear the doctor is taking us out tonight!
What do you call a computer floating in the ocean? A Dell Rolling in the Deep.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch
Why can't you take a nap during a race? Because if you snooze, you loose!
What time is it when people are throwing pieces of bread at your head?
Time to duck.
What's the difference between a cat and a frog? A Cat has nine lives but a Frog croaks every night!
Knock Knock
Who's There?
I eat grape.
I eat grape who?
You eat grey poo!
What is considered the tallest building in the world?
The library, because it has so many stories.
What do you cal purple when it is being mean? Violent.
What exam do young witches have to pass? A spell-ing test!
What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!
What did the earth say to all the other planets?
Wow you guys have no life.
What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? Odor in the court. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Dam!
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no-body to go with.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will Let it go.
What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt!
Did you hear about the hairdresser? She dyed.
What word looks the same backwards and upside down? Swims
What do you call a gangsta snowman? Froze-T
What did the man say to the wall? One more crack like that and I'll plaster ya!
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