Why are chefs so mean? They beat eggs and whip cream.
Who goes to the bathroom in the middle of a party? A party pooper.
If there’s an invasion army of endless flies attacking, who you gonna call?
The fly S.W.A.T. Team!
What did the policeman say to his tummy?
Freeze. You’re under a vest.
Why is a baseball team similar to a muffin? They both depend on the batter.
Did you hear about the new corduroy pillowcases? Their making headlines...
Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
What bow can't be tied? A rainbow!
Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!
What goes up and down but doesn't move? The temperature!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What goes up when the rain comes down? An umbrella.
What’s a good name for a detective?
Mr. E
Did you hear about the calendar thief? He got 12 months; they say his days are numbered
Why should you take a pencil to bed? To draw the curtains!
Why did the log fall into a creek? Because that's how it ROLLS!
What do you give a dog with a fever? Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog! What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon? A sour puss!
Why is Basketball such a messy sport? Because you dribble on the floor!
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware? Idaho... Alaska!
What did the tie say to the hat? You go on ahead and I'll hang around!
Did you hear about the injured vegetable? Some say he got beet.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, cows go MOO!
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue
What did one plate say to the other? Dinners on me
Why did the barber win the race? Because he took a short cut.
Why did the belt get arrested? He held up a pair of pants.
What do you call a ghosts mom and dad? Transparents
Knock Knock
Who's There?
I eat grape.
I eat grape who?
You eat grey poo!
Which is the longest word in the dictionary? "Smiles", because there is a mile between each "s"!
What vehicle has 4 wheels and flies? a garbage truck.
What do you call a boy who finally stood up to the bullies? An ambulance.
What is the tallest building in the world? The library! It has the most stories!
Did you hear about the party a little boy had for his sisters barbie dolls? A. It was a Barbie-
What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller.
Why did the God of Thunder need to stretch his muscles so much when he was a kid?
He was a little Thor.
What kind of button won't unbutton? A bellybutton!
Who cleans the bottom of the ocean? A Mer-Maid
What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A private tutor.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will Let it go.
Did you hear about the shampoo shortage in Jamaica? It's dread-full.
Did you hear the score in the game between the ocean and the beach? It’s tide.
How many books can you put in an empty backpack? One! After that its not empty!
Did you hear about the two bed bugs who met in the mattress? They got married in the spring.
What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck.
What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup? Firecrackers!
What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? Odor in the court. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Dam!
What stays on the ground but never gets dirty? Shadow.
Choose any number between 2 and 7. Multiply by 4 and add 3. Now reverse the digits and close your eyes.
Dark, isn’t it?
Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash!
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An Investigator
Go to BabaMail
