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Marriage can be sweet or sour, the most beautiful gift and the most horrible torture. Whatever it is, it definitely is a big part of life and as such has created some great thoughts and quotes. Here are some of my personal favorites! |
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Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
Jim Backus ![]()
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette ![]()
I’ve sometimes thought of marrying, and then I’ve thought again.
Noel Coward, 1956
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry
Marriage is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important.
Lisa Hoffman
She’s a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
Oscar Levant to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo’s fiancee ![]()
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
Jackie Mason ![]()
Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out.
Montaigne ![]()
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi ![]()
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher…and that is a good thing for any man.
Socrates ![]()
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Lana Turner ![]()
Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.
Mae West |
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