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10 Rules That Will Help You Clear Your Thoughts

 Our thoughts shape our reality and can help us to be happy and relaxed, or stressed and lost, unable to take meaningful steps to advance our lives. With these 10 simple rules, you can avoid these difficult moments where the disorder in your thoughts prevents you from peace and happiness. Read them, internalize them as well as you can and take control of your life and your sense of happiness.

cluttered mind

1. Concerns only create more worries

The more you think about something bad, the more likely it will happen or in particularly bad cases, the more it happens. The principle of self-fulfilling prophecy is especially valid when it comes to small troubles, so if you have a day full of minor accidents or stressful events, the more you think about them, the greater the chance that any other detail or event will enter the list of negative things. In the end, you’ll find that you’ve accumulated a huge amount of negative thoughts that simply block your ability to think positively. It’s okay to worry or be angry, however, it’s better to release these thoughts and feelings as soon as possible and not give them room in your mind.

2. You don’t need to narrate your life

We all have a small voice in our heads that keeps us on the right track and helps us focus, but alongside its many advantages, it also has some significant drawbacks. If we don’t stop it in time, this "internal narrator" can convince us of things that just aren’t true. People tend to use their inner voice to tell themselves over and over again how they feel, to try to understand what other people think about them, and even to instill meaning into the most casual and random events. This is despite the fact that in most cases our inner voice is only an expression of our imagination and our fears. We really don’t have a way of knowing what it means, so if you want to be happy, stop telling yourself that you're unhappy and if it's hard for you, stop thinking about it and start thinking about what you can do to improve the situation.

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3. Feelings are temporary 

You need to remember that everything passes. How you feel right now isn’t how you’ll feel in the near future, whether positive or negative. We cannot prevent ourselves from thoughts and feelings, but when the situation is bad, we need to remember that it will change in time. Don’t punish yourself for feeling shame or fear, and know that this feeling will pass. The more you amplify and magnify these feelings now, the more likely they’ll be twice as intense in the future.

4. There is no point in comparing oneself to others

Although there is no point in constant and unbridled self-criticism, however, this fact doesn’t prevent certain people from doing so. No matter how far you’ve come, there will always be someone who has been more successful in one field or another and there is no point in comparing yourself. Similarly, even if you experience a stinging failure, there will always be someone worse off, and you are both much better off than those who didn’t try at all. In addition, we have no way of knowing the totality of the circumstances that led to our success or failure or that of the other. It may be that you didn’t get that promotion at work because your manager sabotaged you, and it is equally possible that the person who did get it is close to the decision makers. You have to remember how partial and lacking our judgment and comparison is, and never think of it as something that is complete.

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5. Feelings of guilt are of no use

Feelings of guilt are probably one of the greatest problems of people who can’t get their thoughts in order, even though in practice they have no importance and justification. These feelings shouldn’t last for more than a few moments, followed by a behavioral change in the real world that will eliminate them. If you can’t act to eliminate feelings of guilt or if you don’t want to do what needs to be done to do so, then there’s no point in it. If guilt is linked to a fact that you didn’t have full control over, then you have no logical reason to feel it. Clean all these thoughts and feelings from your head, because they only cause damage.

6. What others think shouldn’t affect you

Although the world is full of people and events we have no control over, we certainly have control over our actions and thoughts and therefore we mustn’t let these two things mix. Most of the thoughts that pass through our minds have an external source, but the decision to act according to this influence is ours, for the better and for the worse. So, if you want to pursue your dreams, but are afraid of the reactions of the people around you, remember that the only person who has the power to decide whether to act on something or not is you. Also, don’t forget that most people are too busy thinking about themselves, and probably don’t have the time or energy to actually think about you.

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7. Your expectations won’t always come true

Much of the reason why people are constantly preoccupied with harmful thoughts lies in the fact that our expectations of life and reality are often two different things. No matter how much mental time and effort you spend deciding on your course of action, the world won’t stop while you think and the situation will change. Keep in mind that planning is a great tool that helps people understand what they know and what they don’t know about the situation they are about to enter, but it doesn’t guarantee perfect results, and any expectations will only lead to baseless regrets and self-blame.

8. You are not responsible for the actions of others

Have you ever found yourself ashamed of a friend or co-worker? Or was it that you made the mistake of leading someone else to do something which they later regretted? Such things happen to almost every human being and create quite a mess of negative and disturbing thoughts that can easily be avoided if we remind ourselves of this simple rule. People who try to make you take responsibility for their lives do so because they are just afraid to recognize that only they are responsible for themselves, not you. Everyone has enough things to deal with themselves, so don’t take on other people's troubles, unless they are friends and relatives who seek your help in a logical and healthy way.

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9. Your personality isn’t fixed

One of the main issues that bother each and every one of us is quite naturally - ourselves. Low self-confidence, impatience, naivete, laziness, etc. are all character traits that we attribute to ourselves and treat as factual, although this situation can change at any moment and the power to do so is in our hands. Your character and personality are not fixed and are only the product of your thoughts. Don’t complain about yourselves and tell others what you think you are. If you don’t like something about yourself, change it, this is one of the best ways to be truly happy.

10. Life isn’t graded

Finally, the most important rule of all; Life isn’t a game and there are no points nor winners or losers, and any thought that comes from this mistaken assumption will cause damage and disappointment. The world of numbers and facts is rarely associated with our true and continuing sense of happiness, and the constant preoccupation with these areas only causes us to delve into unnecessary thoughts and prevent one from enjoying the moment and the simple pleasures of life.

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