Nearing the end of a hard life, old Ed was surrounded by his loved ones. As he sensed his final moment was approaching, he gathered all his strength and whispered:
"I must tell you my greatest secret."
His family members were all ears, and urged him to go on.
"Before I got married, I had it all," explained Ed.
"Fast cars, cute girls, and plenty of money. But a good friend warned me..
...‘Get married and start a family. Otherwise, no-one will be there to give you a glass of water to drink when you're on your deathbed.'
"So I took his advice. I traded the girls for a wife, beer for baby food. I sold my Ferrari and invested in college funds. And now here we are...
"And you know what?"
"What?" Whispered the fascinated members of his family.
Sometimes, a Prostitute Just Won't Do (Hilarious Joke)
Two old men decide to get some action by visiting a cat-house, but the madam soon determines that her girls will be wasting their time on them...
This Joke Starts With a Bible Study Group Discussing Death
A Bible study group is discussing the possibility of imminent death. Everyone gives predictable answers, except for one man in the group that is...
Joke: The 160 Year Old Man
A man dies in a car accident and goes to heaven. He's amazed to find that there's a huge orchestra and singing angels to greet him when he arrives...
Have You Heard This Joke? Good News Or Bad News?
An artist is pleased to hear that all 10 of her paintings on display have been bought by someone. Unfortunately, the big purchase has a twist...
This Joke Starts With a Greedy Man...
A stingy lawyer simply isn't willing to let go of the money he has earned - even in death. That's why he hatches to plan to prove that you can take it with you.
Funny Joke: An Uninvited Guest Keeps Coming Over
An old, tired looking dog keeps wandering into the house next door. The owners decide that it's time to investigate...
Simon's Cat Leaves His Owner Out in the Cold!
Watch this latest Christmas Special episode of Simon's Cat.
The Wordplay in This Classic Comedy Sketch is Hilarious!
Nothing tickles me so much as wordplay. And this is my absolute favorite comedy classic sketch. See what happens when a customer asks for 'four candles.'
Hilarious! This Is How Old Men Strip a Kitchen
The Swedes are known for some great cooking. But it seems it's not the men who deserve the praise. This is what they really get up to in the kitchen!
15 Hilarious Photos Taken a Second Before Disaster
A series of photos happening just before disaster strikes.
HILARIOUS: The Very Best of Classic Blonde Jokes!
Blondes aren't stupid, but these classic blonde jokes are still really funny.
I've Never Seen Translations Fail This Hard
These hilariously terrible translations will make you laugh your socks off!
If You've Got a Sense of Humor, You'll Love These Liners!
Which of these short jokes will crack you up?
Hilarious: Have You Seen The New Senior Bumper Stickers?
Here are some bumper stickers specially made for the retired lifestyle!
We Can’t Stop Laughing At These Silly Signs
These are some of the most ridiculous signs we've come across.
These Lines are Bad Manners, But They're Funny!
We all wish we had the tenacity to be able to reply to someone being cheeky to us with the wittiest of comebacks. Here are 20 awesome rejoinders.
Classic Comedy: A Newly Graduated Dentist...
Laugh your socks off with this classic comedy sketch from the Carol Burnett Show. A hilarious scene from the dentist that will have you in stitches.
Funnies: The Differences Between Men and Women
These images will show you clearly why they say that women are from Venus and men are from Mars. Take a look at these amusing images for a good laugh.
These Grammar Jokes Are a Silly & Funny Play On Words!
If you're one to titter at a good grammar joke, then you'll absolutely love the 14 that you can find in this post.
Short Senior Jokes that'll Make You Crack Up!
Just because you're getting old, it doesn't mean that you have to stop laughing. Here are 25 short senior jokes that'll really tickle your fancy.
This May Be the Funniest Message I've Ever Heard...
This has to be the funniest hotline message ever recorded.
Hilarious: They'll Never Notice if I Take Just One Piece...
Watch how these sneaky pooches get caught stealing food. You'll laugh so hard you'll cry!
20 One-Frame Funnies That Will Make You Laugh
This New Yorker cartoonist's works are full of wit and humor.
"Engrish" Can be a Confusing Language...
This series of English signs from around the world will make you laugh and wonder all at the same time.
These Funny One-Liners Are Utterly Hilarious
These monsters are out to make you giggle. They've got no less than 20 one-liners to share with you, and we bet you'll be in fits of laughter in no time.
These Geriatric Cartoons Will Make You Laugh Out Loud
These just made me laugh myself silly, but I must admit, they're quite true!
Hilarious: I Swear This Box Just Grew On Its Own!
These people are either failing their vision or their sanity!
If You Don't Laugh at These, You Are Irony-Deficient...
The Irony Is Strong in These Photos...
Hilarious Language Humor: 18 Funny Translation Fails
These translation fails are just ridiculously funny.
Ah the Hilarious Ways We Men Try to Solve Our Problems
When it comes to health and safety, these men have left their brains at home. Faced with some tricky challenges, they have tried to solve them in funny ways.
This Gag Compilation is Literally Out of This World...
This video is so much fun, you're gonna have a blast!
Laugh out Loud at These Alternative Animal "Facts"
So-called animal experts have no idea about these facts. They're about to be revealed for the very first time, and rest assured that laughter will ensue!
Hilarious: This is Why We Love Kids...
There are a number of reasons we love kids! It isn't just because they laugh out loud most of the time or look great in photos - they also make us laugh...
These Talking Animal Cartoons Will Have You in Stitches
Ever wondered what animals are talking about? Well, thanks to these hilarious drawings by Jimmy Craig, your wondering can stop.
Hilarious! These Overly Dramatic Cats Deserve an Oscar...
Which of these hilarious cat expressions made you laugh most?
Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards 2022: 16 Silly Winning Pics
The Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards are back! Here are the winning images from this year’s contest.
Want a Laugh? Try These Witty Lines!
The best jokes and phrases are the ones that completely catch us off guard. Here are 14 very witty and unpredictable jokes and phrases.
No Matter My Age, a Funny Cartoon is a Funny Cartoon
These cartoons will make you laugh at any age.
Add Humor to Your Bathroom With These Crazy Curtains
Add a touch of humor to your bathroom with these crazy shower curtains.
When Birds Misbehave, the Results Are Utterly Hilarious!
If you think that only dogs and cats are capable of being total jerks, then you ain't seen nothing yet!
These Cartoons Will Make You Laugh and Think...
This artist has an incredible knack for capturing the ironies and paradoxes arising from the use of technology in the modern world. View his illustrations here.
The Wit of Mark Twain: Quotes that are Amusing and True
One of the most famous American writers, Twain was known for his wit and darker humor. To this day, his quotes are an inspiration.