RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecast?
It’s the clam before the storm.
How can colors be used to predict the weather?
By their huemidity.
I'm going to discuss global warming on Sunday at a debate. It's a very heated topic.
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
Did you hear about those really bad storms that hit that boy scout camp over night?
They were in tents.
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
When we were young, we had this myth that lightning bolts go all the way to cloud 9.
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
There’s an old oak near my house that’s always surrounded by fog.
I don’t know why, it’s a mist tree.
What type of pants do rain clouds wear? Thunderwear.
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
The winds of change started raining silver, copper, and gold coins.
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
Did you hear of the story of the tornado? There is a twist at the end.
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
When the storm begun, the garden party became a bit disorganized and food service was turned to a frost come frost served.
Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
What is a tornado's favorite Elton John song? Candle in the Wind!
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
Local weather reports state there won't be any rain for 1 year, but I drought it.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
It’s raining cats and dogs outside.
I think I just stepped in a poodle.
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.