Does all this rain make you want an ark?
I Noah guy.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
Q: What falls but never hits the ground?
A: The temperature
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
What does a tornado wear under his clothes? Thunderwear!
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Accordion
Accordion who?
Accordion to the forecast, it's going to rain tonight.
Did you hear of the story of the tornado? There is a twist at the end.
Q: What is a wind turbine’s favorite musical group?
A: Air Supply
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
There was news of a snowstorm. It arrived white on time.
What did the vegan wear to the beach?
A zucchini!
What is known as the world's wettest animal? Rain-deer.
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
What did fog do to make the captain angry? He mist the boat.
My glasses may be fogged up, but don’t worry I’ll be fine.
I’m optimistic!
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
What does a ghost wear when it’s raining outside?
Boooooooooooots.
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite Elton John song?
A: Candle in the Wind!
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
Why do skeletons hate how wind feels? Because it goes right through them!