You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
Q: What is a wind turbine’s favorite musical group?
A: Air Supply
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
Did you hear of the story of the tornado? There is a twist at the end.
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.
What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
Due to bad weather, I won't be attending the Meteorology Convention.
I'm gonna take a rain-check.
Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
What did the baby cloud say to its mum when it rained? Sorry, mum, I couldn't hold it any longer.
Q: What's a tornado's favorite game?
A: Twister
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
Even during thunderstorms, Santa can still deliver presents because raindeers fly his sleigh.
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
What does a ghost wear when it’s raining outside?
Boooooooooooots.
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecast?
It’s the clam before the storm.
Q: What do you call a windmill swallowed up by a tornado?
A: A wind meal
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
There was news of a snowstorm. It arrived white on time.
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
The winds of change started raining silver, copper, and gold coins.
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
What is a tornado's favorite movie? Gone With the Wind!
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind full of sand?
A: A rough draft
What did the vegan wear to the beach?
A zucchini!
Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.