I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
Q: What is a wind turbine’s favorite musical group?
A: Air Supply
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
What do you call a storm that doesn't come to fruition?
A mist opportunity!
Q: What did the wind turbine say to the engineer after he fixed him?
A: I’m a big fan of your work!
Wind turbines don’t talk about much. They just shoot the breeze.
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
I tried playing baseball in the fog today.
It was a bit hit and mist.
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
What do you call a bear that’s stuck out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
What does a tornado wear under his clothes? Thunderwear!
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite Elton John song?
A: Candle in the Wind!
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
What is known as the world's wettest animal? Rain-deer.
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
Did you hear about those really bad storms that hit that boy scout camp over night?
They were in tents.
You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
How can colors be used to predict the weather?
By their huemidity.
You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.
What should you do if it starts raining cats and dogs?
Please seek shelters.
Q: What did Julius Caesar’s pet windmill say?
A: I came, I spun, I conquered.