Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
What does a tornado wear under his clothes? Thunderwear!
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
Q: Why did the tornado take a break?
A: Because it ran out of wind!
When the storm begun, the garden party became a bit disorganized and food service was turned to a frost come frost served.
Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
What do you call a storm that doesn't come to fruition?
A mist opportunity!
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite Elton John song?
A: Candle in the Wind!
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
Q; What’s the difference between origami and grandpa passing wind?
A: One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old.
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
I recently got offered a job studying fog but I turned it down.
Looking back, I now think it was a mist opportunity.
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
Why do skeletons hate how wind feels? Because it goes right through them!
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
What did the baby cloud say to its mum when it rained? Sorry, mum, I couldn't hold it any longer.
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
My glasses may be fogged up, but don’t worry I’ll be fine.
I’m optimistic!
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
I tried playing baseball in the fog today.
It was a bit hit and mist.
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.