Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".
I over boiled some venison broth earlier.
It was deerly mist.
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
When the storm begun, the garden party became a bit disorganized and food service was turned to a frost come frost served.
My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
I thought I saw some fog yesterday.
But I guess my memory’s a little cloudy.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
I mist say, this is a pretty bad joke, but it haze potential.
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
There was a television channel ran by pets, the weather forecast was on and inclement weather was being predicted...
High chance of it raining cats and dogs, howling winds, and a possible purricane.
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
Does all this rain make you want an ark?
I Noah guy.
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
Q: What do you call a windmill swallowed up by a tornado?
A: A wind meal
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
My glasses may be fogged up, but don’t worry I’ll be fine.
I’m optimistic!
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
Local weather reports state there won't be any rain for 1 year, but I drought it.
What is known as the world's wettest animal? Rain-deer.
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.