What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
There's a basic difference between weather and climate: you can't weather a tree, but you can definitely climate.
A bunch of chill-dren from the neighborhood played all afternoon in the snow.
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
The wind had such a great time. You could say it had a blast.
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
What type of pants do rain clouds wear? Thunderwear.
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
What does a ghost wear when it’s raining outside?
Boooooooooooots.
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
Why do skeletons hate how wind feels? Because it goes right through them!
Why is rain the best kind of music?
Because it has amazing drops.
What words do windmills live by? One good turn deserves another!
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
Local weather reports state there won't be any rain for 1 year, but I drought it.
There was news of a snowstorm. It arrived white on time.
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
Why do people like storm watching so much?
The lightning is quite striking!
It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.