Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
There was news of a snowstorm. It arrived white on time.
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
What did one cloud of fog say to the other?
I don’t know. It’s a mistery.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
What words do windmills live by? One good turn deserves another!
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.
A good friend of mine fell into a vaporiser and died.
She is sadly mist.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
Due to bad weather, I won't be attending the Meteorology Convention.
I'm gonna take a rain-check.
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
My glasses may be fogged up, but don’t worry I’ll be fine.
I’m optimistic!
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
It was pretty foggy outside today.
I shot an arrow in the air, and it stuck.
What should you do if it starts raining cats and dogs?
Please seek shelters.
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
What is a tornado's favorite Elton John song? Candle in the Wind!
Even during thunderstorms, Santa can still deliver presents because raindeers fly his sleigh.
Why is rain the best kind of music?
Because it has amazing drops.
Q: What falls but never hits the ground?
A: The temperature
Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
Why did the cloud stay at home? It was feeling under the weather.
It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".