It’s raining cats and dogs outside.
I think I just stepped in a poodle.
Q: What falls but never hits the ground?
A: The temperature
What’s a bigamist?
It’s what Italians call a thick fog.
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
The winds of change started raining silver, copper, and gold coins.
What did the vegan wear to the beach?
A zucchini!
Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog.
But it’s actually a common mist-conception.
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
There was news of a snowstorm. It arrived white on time.
Why do people like storm watching so much?
The lightning is quite striking!
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
Even during thunderstorms, Santa can still deliver presents because raindeers fly his sleigh.
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
What is a tornado's favorite Elton John song? Candle in the Wind!
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind full of sand?
A: A rough draft
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
When we were young, we had this myth that lightning bolts go all the way to cloud 9.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
Q: What did the wind turbine say to the engineer after he fixed him?
A: I’m a big fan of your work!
How can colors be used to predict the weather?
By their huemidity.
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
Q: What's a tornado's favorite game?
A: Twister
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.