Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
What should you do if it starts raining cats and dogs?
Please seek shelters.
It was pretty foggy outside today.
I shot an arrow in the air, and it stuck.
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite Elton John song?
A: Candle in the Wind!
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
I thought I saw some fog yesterday.
But I guess my memory’s a little cloudy.
How can colors be used to predict the weather?
By their huemidity.
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecast?
It’s the clam before the storm.
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
What’s a bigamist?
It’s what Italians call a thick fog.
I tried playing baseball in the fog today.
It was a bit hit and mist.
I over boiled some venison broth earlier.
It was deerly mist.
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
Why do people like storm watching so much?
The lightning is quite striking!
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
Q: Why did the tornado take a break?
A: Because it ran out of wind!
Why did the cloud stay at home? It was feeling under the weather.
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
Q; What’s the difference between origami and grandpa passing wind?
A: One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old.
A guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines so I called the cops.
He must belong to an extreme mist organization.
What does a tornado wear under his clothes? Thunderwear!
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind full of sand?
A: A rough draft
Local weather reports state there won't be any rain for 1 year, but I drought it.