Don’t go bacon my heart.
I bought my wife a matching belt and bag for Valentine's Day
She should have that vacuum up and running in no time.
You must be a bowling ball since you’re right up my alley.
From my head tomatoes, I love you bunches.
I am fawn’d of you my deer.
I ordered the wrong kind of flowers online for Valentines Day.
Oops e-daisies.
Are you a lightbulb? Because you turn me on.
I “lub” you.
Your love is like vodka. You’re worth the chase.
There’s so mushroom in my heart for you.
I think you’re dandelion.
I'm fondue you, it's true
I aorta tell you how much I love you.
I asked the older woman at work what she is doing for Valentine’s Day and she said that she was taking her husband to the Cardiologist. The heart wants what the heart wants.
My love for you is like no otter.
What did the arsonist do on Valentine's day?
He met his match.
I loaf you.
What's a pun's favorite love song?
"My Punny Valentine!"
I fence-y you.
My local pizza place is selling heart shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day
I find it to be a bit cheesy
You’re as sweet as Pi.
Are you a thief? Because you stole my heart.
There’s no reason to wine about you.
My love for you simply radiates.
Are you an alien? Because I believe you’ve abducted my heart.
Are you a defibrillator? Because you are sending shocks to my heart.
I followed my heart to you.
What Twix do you have up your sleeve that makes me love you?
We’ve got serious chemistry.
Are you a 30 degree angle? Because you're acute-y.
Your shirt must be made out of husband material.
What's the article of winter clothing most appropriate for Valentine's Day?
's mitten.
I would talk about Valentine’s Day
But it looks like I missed my date.
For Valentines Day, I decided to get my wife some beads for an abacus.
It’s the little things that count.
This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers.
You must be a geologist because you rock my world.