Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.