Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.