Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.